‘When I tell you I gasped’: Girl wakes up from wild night with a category 5 hickey problem, and no way to cover it up at work

Have you ever had a hickey? It’s okay, we’re all friends here and can be honest. Maybe it happened once or twice when you were younger… but chances are, it didn’t happen like this.

TikTok user @weeping.goddess posted about getting up in the morning and realizing she has a massive issue. No, she doesn’t just have one hickey, although we can see how that would be pretty distressing. She doesn’t even have two hickeys… or three hickeys. She has an entire group of hickeys on her neck and chest. A constellation of hickeys? They’re honestly mesmerizing to look at.

We’re often riveted when hearing about people’s adventures through the intense world of dating, from a distinctly un-promising first meeting to, ugh, yet another dispiriting date. In the case of @weeping.goddess, she seemed surprised by the number of hickeys she had (we don’t blame her!), and she wanted to know how to keep them a secret, since she was heading to her job. But it sounds like overall, she considered her night a positive experience (minus the awkward consequence). She shared a few other TikToks and explained that while people thought she made the hickeys up, they were totally real… and lasted a while.

Comments ranged from “DAMN GIRL AT LEAST YOU HAD A GOOD TIME” to “SHOW US WHO DID THIS MASTERPIECE” (do we want to see them, though?) Some other helpful people shared advice in the comment section on how to make sure no one sees your hickeys. A makeup artist explained that you could use powder and concealer and a yellow-based cream to camouflage the telltale reddish-purplish bruises, while others said turtlenecks are a good bet. According to Healthline, you could also try aloe vera, cocoa butter, and a massage. But then again, we’d hope you aren’t getting hickeys so often that you need all this wisdom!

While we might be thinking that hickeys are no big deal, they can have more serious complications than we might think. According to Bustle, there are cases — though exceedingly rare — of hickey recipients suffering strokes as a result of hickey-induced burst blood vessels generating clots within major arteries in the neck.

We’re relieved nothing terrible happened here, besides the need to keep this big secret at work. We need to know, though: did @weeping.goddess’s boss notice?!