Let’s just acknowledge this right out of the gate: there are innumerable nuances that need to be unpacked here in order to comprehend the following situation in full, and I do not know how to describe to you how much I do not want to unpack them.
Indeed, we were all better off when we didn’t know the bathroom below existed, but understanding one’s enemy is key to protecting oneself, and so progress cannot be stopped now.
Unthinkably brought into the world by TikTok‘s @ad013848c, this footage of the single most unhinged bathroom in the world is just 16 seconds long, but feels like an unsanitary eternity. Your eyes do not deceive you; this sign is requesting that, if you find yourself taking a good old-fashioned dump on the premises, you must lower all turds measuring six inches or longer into the toilet using your hands so as to prevent “chemical splashback.”
In other words, not only do you need to somehow pre-empt the length of your turds, but you need to be ready to catch it, too. Moreover, you always need to be prepared for these calculations, stomach fortifications, and subsequent de-germings every time you go, regardless of whether you end up having to participate in this gauntlet or not.
There is but one silver lining to this ordeal, and that is, of course, the fact that this sign isn’t actually legit. Indeed, perhaps you were tipped off by the “over 6″ in length or longer” redundancy, or maybe it didn’t matter either way on account of how readily you would not follow this rule, but what Jermane is looking at right now is a gag sticker. This particular OSHA Law 1729.17B sticker has been in casual circulation for some time now, and can even be bought in bulk on Amazon.
Now, as important as it is to exercise one’s anti-gullibility muscle, the understatedly gobsmacked manner with which Jermane reacts to this sign is utterly hilarious, so we’re actually quite happy that he stumbled upon this confounding non-rule out in the wild.
But seriously, just as you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the internet, you must not believe everything you see in real life. Indeed, even if a guideline claims to come directly from the OSHA throne, it always bears remembering that the rules applied to life are supremely artificial, and you’re usually better off using your innate deduction ability when confronted with the more ridiculous guidelines of the world. This, of course, includes hand-lowering your turds into a toilet, chemical splashback or no chemical splashback.