Woman creeped out after married ex tracked her life for nearly a decade. Then she says he monitored her job, gym, and home: ‘this is a lot’

A woman says a man she dated as a teenager tracked down her workplace, gym, and home address by looking through her social media posts, nearly ten years after their relationship ended.

The woman, who posts under the username @xanthe_blaise on TikTok, shared the story in a video that has been viewed more than 805,500 times. The video is captioned, “Storytime. We haven’t done one in so long!! This one was wild. #storytime #ex #myex #redflag #stalking”

She said she began dating the man when she was 17 and he was 24, though she said he did not know her real age at the time. She said she lied to him about being 17 when they met, and only told him the truth partway through their six-month relationship.

Ex reached out unexpectedly after years of no contact

Xanthe said the man messaged her on Instagram out of nowhere, saying he needed to talk to her. She said she gave him her phone number right away, and her first thought was that he might be seriously ill.

When he called, she asked him directly if he was dying, and he told her no. She said he then said he wanted to meet in person and told her he would be driving from Canberra, where he lives, to see her. During their conversation, she said he told her he still had feelings for her. She said they had never told each other “I love you” while dating, and she said she had never been in love with him.

She said he told her he had been following her online for a long time and had used her social media posts to figure out where she trained, where she worked, and where she lived. She said he told her he had considered showing up at her workplace, but decided against it because he thought it might come across as “stalkery,” so he messaged her instead.

Xanthe said she felt she needed to speak plainly with him. She said she told him he did not know her anymore, since she had grown up and changed since they dated. She said she reminded him that he has a wife and two children, and told him that if he was unhappy in his marriage, he needed to talk to his wife about it rather than her. Confrontations with a persistent ex can be complicated, as in a case where a woman asked the ex’s mother to intervene. 

She said she also told him that his life did not seem to have changed much since he was 24, and that he seemed to be holding onto a version of happiness tied to that period of his life rather than to her specifically. She said she explained that the person he remembered no longer exists, and that he would likely not want her as she is now.

Xanthe said the man did listen to what she had to say and returned to Canberra afterward. She said she has not heard from him since, adding that he had wanted to keep talking regularly and had wanted to get back together, which she told him was not going to happen. This kind of persistent attention can be unsettling, as this woman exposed his date’s marriage. 

She also spoke about their past relationship in the video, explaining why she had ended things at the time. “I got like pretty freaked out in the relationship. I was like, oh my God, this is a lot,” she said, describing him as often angry and quick to complain. She said she had told him this during their coffee meeting as well.

The video drew a large number of comments, with viewers reacting to both the story and the fact that the man had tracked her location through social media. One commenter wrote, “This entire story was creepy.” Another said, “you are a very mature young person, and you just told to a lot of people a bunch of truths that can help them.” A third commenter pointed to the broader lesson from the story, writing, “That’s why it’s so important to be careful what you post online people are creepy.”