‘Something that humanity will regret…’: Mark Zuckerberg targets our biggest woe because supporting Donald Trump wasn’t enough

Mark Zuckerberg going viral on social media is never a good thing. He’s been on a press tour promoting Meta’s brand AI app. In a world with Grok, DeepSeek, and Chat GPT — Zuckerberg knows he must pretend to offer something different. His pitch? He wants to give the “average American” 12 AI friends.

This proposition came up on The Dwarkesh Podcast. Zuckerberg told the host that his AGI’s endgame is a “personalization loop” kicking in. That’s when he believes Meta AI will become indispensable. He used an NPR report as a jumping-off point. The report cited a Pew Research Center poll showing only 38% of Americans have 5 or more friends. According to Zuckerberg, the “demand” is 15 friends. The average American has only 3 — so Meta’s solution is to plug the gap with bots.

As always, when Mark Zuckerberg says anything online, mockery follows like clockwork. Some users on X suggested humanity must forever pay for Zuckerberg’s inability to make friends.

Something that humanity will always regret is Mark Zuckerberg's inability to make friends at Harvard https://t.co/xsyrIJqXsF

— Hamish Morrison (@HMorrison97) May 1, 2025

Others compared it to needing 12 eggs and getting 12 pictures of an egg instead.

The average American has 3 eggs, but has demand for 15. So here are 12 photographs of eggs. I am a business man. https://t.co/uR2VXr1CqH

— Paul Fairie (@paulisci) May 1, 2025

Zuckerberg, somehow, is more self-aware these days. He anticipated the confusion and claimed that one day, we’d all appreciate “people doing these things.” Perhaps that’s why, mid-tour, he even found time to half-rationalize that one time he gave his wife a statue. He admitted it was “a bit weird,” which is as close to a soul as we’ve seen from him.

There’s no doubt Zuckerberg is a bizarre person — but this isn’t random. It’s a strategy. In the same interview, he nodded to AGI chatbots already rolling out virtual girlfriends and therapists. He considers that a good thing.

The data analysis site World Visualized already confirmed it: the number one use of Generative AI is concerningly Therapy and Companionship. Which is probably why Zuckerberg has his eyes set there.

Axios reported that Zuckerberg plans to turn these AI bots into interactive reels you can talk to. Because nothing says “healthy emotional life” like whispering your secrets to a reel. It’s a textbook uncanny valley. But Meta’s real goal isn’t comfort. It’s attention — and beating the competition.

There’s no grander social good here. These tech barons have made it clear: their loyalty lies with shareholders and maybe President Trump. On the podcast, even Zuckerberg doesn’t quite sound convinced by his own pitch. It’s all bells, whistles, and clunky optimism designed to keep investors calm as he injects AGI into a company built to help people keep in touch. Or maybe help them make new friends. Or maybe — just maybe — mine their loneliness for ad revenue.

Perhaps instead of inventing synthetic friends, Zuckerberg could use AI to fix the algorithm and let people actually see their real friends. You know, the one billion actual active users already on the app.

Tech commentators and social media rang alarm bells this week. People were already complaining that ChatGPT is too agreeable. Now we’re being handed a buffet of emotionally validating bots — not to help us, but to sell more ads.

Zuckerberg sees profits, nothing else. If some people feel better in the process? Sure, why not. 

This would all be hilarious if it weren’t already terrifying.