After five full days of eluding the NYC police, the alleged United Healthcare CEO killer may have been captured and named due to his love of McDonald’s, of all things.
The suspected gunman was caught at the fast food joint in Altoona, Pennsylvania. McDonald’s has been the downfall of many; few can resist the tasty, but highly processed allure of a Big Mac. I, too have given in to temptation before and treated myself to a Mickey D’s when I know I shouldn’t have, although in my case I never got arrested, I just felt a little gross afterwards.
The suspect, who has been named as Luigi Mangione, was recognized by an employee at the establishment who proceeded to call the police — to be fair, who could forget that face? Upon his arrest, it’s reported that Mangione was found with a gun and suppressor which were “both consistent with the weapon used in the murder.” He was also found with a fraudulent ID matching the one used to check into the New York City hostel where the suspect stayed, as well as a hand-written document purportedly explaining his motivations.
The conditions of the arrest seem almost too perfect, with some online suspecting that something fishy is going on. Although what exactly that might be, it’s hard to know.
Mangione is suspected to be the assassin who gunned down UHC CEO Brian Thompson in broad daylight on the streets of Manhattan on December 4th, and evaded capture for 5 days. During that time it almost seemed like the gunman was taunting police, with messages etched into the bullets used to kill Thompson, and a backpack filled with Monopoly money being left in Central Park.
This disappearing act quickly led to the shooter becoming a legend amongst people who agreed with his message online. Some even called him this generation’s D. B. Cooper.
But that legend may have come to an end on a grey and rainy day in Altoona, Pennsylvania. After allegedly hiding from the law for so long many thought that perhaps he’d gotten away with it, the call of the McRib was too powerful.
Of course, the biggest lover of greasy processed food is none other than Donald Trump, who has been known to consume vast quantities of food from McDonald’s, most memorably during his court case earlier this year, where he ordered $500 worth of the stuff. Prior to the election, DJT also worked a shift at a McD’s.
Anyways, if Supersize Me taught us anything, it’s that repeated consumption of such foods can lead to major health issues. …Could McDonald’s also lead to the downfall of Trump? Only time will tell.
Right now we don’t know anything about Mangione’s true motivations or even whether he did it, and in any case, in the U.S., suspects are innocent until proven guilty. If he did do it, details are sure to follow which will likely shed some light on his intentions. It will be interesting to see what he wrote in those documents — if they are ever published, that is.
Published: Dec 9, 2024 04:06 pm