Netflix have released the final trailer for The Witcher today, their forthcoming TV adaptation of the fantasy book series of the same name. Though perhaps more widely renowned for the video games also based on the books (including 2015’s enormously successful The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt), this is not in fact a video game adaptation, and no I don’t care if you knew that already. I’m allowed to pander to the mainstream just as much as Netflix do, capisce?
Ok, this is getting a little heated. Allow me to break it up by pointing you in the direction of the new trailer up above. Ah, that’s better.
With regards to this not being a video game adaptation (though fans will notice an unmistakable similitude between them), this could prove to be a blessing for the show, if track records are anything to go by. Translating games to screens big and small has consistently proved to be a fraught errand. I mean, how long have you got? I have about another 100 words and I’m not convinced it’s going to be enough.
The sheer mass of the mediocrity we’ve been served is stupefying. Brace yourselves, because we’ve got Need for Speed, Assassin’s Creed, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, two Hitman films, Max Payne (really?), three Tomb Raiders portrayed by two different actors, Warcraft, and six Resident Evil pics. That last one alone should end centuries of theological abstraction as to whether God exists. He does, and he’s really p***ed off with us.
The short of it is (because I’ve given you the long), Witcher fans, your new show may delight, or it might limp onto screens with a whimper. But it’s not a video game adaptation. I hope that makes you rest a little easier till The Witcher makes its debut on December 20th. Now excuse me, as I’m going to go back to rewatching the trailer, if only for the sight of Superman in a blonde wig. Some things you can never unsee.
