‘Stranger Things’ fans ponder a tricky ‘would you rather’ scenario

Warning: Spoilers for Stranger Things 4 to follow.

Argue about your Stranger Things nitpicks all you want; far and away the most nonsensical thing about a show with telekinesis and wet, slippery monsters is the fact that none of our heroes aside from Max have ever taken the opportunity to go to therapy. They may be the protagonists, but they’ve all definitely got some shit going on after four seasons of life-threatening tomfoolery.

Indeed, being in any of their positions is at least a tad unfavorable, which makes this latest challenge from r/StrangerThings all the more enjoyable.

The post dares responders to pick between one of the two most traumatic events in the Stranger Things canon to go through themselves; spend five years in Dr. Brenner’s lab as a test subject like Eleven did, or pull a Will Byers and spend one week alone in the Upside Down.

One user hopped on the Brenner train immediately, noting how the Upside Down has no food or water, nor has particularly welcome conditions for anyone, let alone someone trying to survive.

But another responder retorted with the fact that one’s five years in Brenner’s lab would end with One murdering everyone, so you’d have to somehow prepare for that.

Another user took the time to weigh the pros and cons of each, with Brenner’s lab in particular scoring points for the superpower acquisition, but losing some for the long wait, and losing even more for the presence of One.

But another user fell victim to the Vecna thirst trap and declared One as a positive for Brenner’s lab.

In any case, now that Vecna seems satisfied with his killing spree for now, perhaps the Hawkins gang can more easily consider some trips to a therapist’s office; they’ve dealt with enough, it’s time to unpack it.

Stranger Things is available to stream on Netflix.