3) Weight Fluctuations
You know it’s true, but you don’t want to face the truth. We aren’t a handsome bunch, and a massive part of that is how we eat. According to research by Jean-Philippe Chaput, Trine Visby, Signe Nyby, and a whole horde of other smart people at the University of Copenhagen, playing video games like FIFA 11, will make you fat. Although the answer that if you spend every waking moment sitting down eating cold meat off your lap will make you fat seems astonishingly obvious, that fact remains that gamers do appear to be at the two opposites ends of the weight spectrum: Fat or Thin.
Though it seems obvious, getting fit is all down to diet and exercise – I can almost feel the waves of hate lapping over my back. “What happens if we don’t want to be in-shape?” You cry. “Gyms are full of tw**s and they’re expensive.” While I do agree that the cost of a gym membership can be high and the horrendous abyss that is listening to gym ‘bros’ vomit about their day like two apes throwing their excrement at each other is dire, their lifestyle – at least the ones who aren’t abusing steroids or whatever – is healthier than yours, and they will most likely live longer. That’s if I don’t slaughter them in their sleep with their cherished barbell.
Some of you may even say that you don’t want to live longer because life feels like some never-ending Post-office line towards a sheer cliff, and I totally agree. But, think of it this way. If you die because of a substantial heart attack, or you waste away like cheap paper in the rain, you’ll miss the future of gaming. Luckily for me, I couldn’t give one solitary mess about that, so I’m golden.
