Ok, not to get all morbid again right after Remy and I recently talked about apocalypse music, movie character zombie posses, and smoldering horror babes, but the two of us are jumping back on the negativity train once again. This week, we’ll be attacking those NOT so lovable characters that populate our horror films, undoubtably pissing us off to the nth degree. Be it someone who is a flat-out unenjoyable dick, or whiney pain, or just a poorly written personality not worth a single minute of screen time, these are the characters who we wish the most gratuitous death scene possible upon – and fast.
Sure, it sounds twisted, but hell, why do we watch horror films? Mindless gore, vicious fun, creative slaying, proper special effects, the list goes on. Most of the time, all the characters die anyway, but with some rhyme and reason at least. Every once in a while we’ll even get a character we hate to see go, cast off into a better life away from whatever apocalyptic or violent scenario the director has chosen. But for every awesomely rockin’ horror character we’re given, there’s also that failed prototype that just doesn’t mesh with anything we’re watching, and what else would you rather see them do? Die. You’re not sick for thinking it, you’re watching a horror film and it’s just mere fantasy. If this were a list of actual people we wanted to see die, then I’d say it’s time for a break on the horror genre and a check into an asylum of sorts, but we’re merely picking which characters deserved an early slaying the most. Don’t jump the gun and call the fuzz just yet.
From the mind of Remy:
You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize I want way too many people to die (fictitious and otherwise) than is probably healthy. But, a wise man once said “I kill in my fantasies, lest I feel the urge to do so in my reality.” No one actually said that, but someone should have. Wait, I am pretty sure I just did. Nice. I better get a copyright on that real quick. BAM. © Done. Alright, on to the killing.
Let’s jump in and discuss those characters who make perfect horror fodder in the eyes of both Remy and myself.Next