Remy – Waxwork (1988)
Okay, so what you have here is an 80s horror movie that is an homage to 50s horror movies – and S&M. No, really, there is a great deal of S&M in this film. That is part of what makes this pleasure a bit guilty. Waxwork was about a group of teens (in their thirties, as was always the case with 80s horror) who get invited to a wax museum where – wait for it, people – the exhibits come to life. Well, it’s not that simple. Actually, you have to be INCREDIBLY stupid and cross over the velvet rope into the exhibit, and the exhibit becomes real in the sense that you are in it. For example, one kid goes into a werewolf scene and, wouldn’t you know it, some werewolf stuff goes down. Cue a few other sets, and a few other creatures and scenarios (including the “slut girl” from every 80s movie finding herself in a Marquis De Sade scenario, with whips and all). Thing is, when I was younger, a horror movie that has a bunch of horror movies in them was the ultimate thing to me, I loved it. Now I can see it for the cheese it is, but in the same breath, I can see it as the precursor to Cabin In The Woods. Watch the final fifteen minutes of Waxwork and tell me I’m wrong, I dare you.
Nato – Feast III: The Happy Finish (2009)
Oh, you bet your ass I kept watching Gulager’s horror/comedy franchise even as a straight-to-DVD threequal was released, this time promising an end to insanity. And seriously, if you haven’t seen these movies, here’s the gist – a bunch of fornicating animal/beast/alien/monster hybrid creatures basically f@ck their way to global domination, birthing new hell-spawns to cover even more ground. Our characters are stuck in the middle, meeting one stereotypical horror personality after another, as Gulager attempts to Wes Craven the hell out of the horror genre and bring us EXACTLY what we think wouldn’t happen. Except, by film three, we now expect the unexpected, and initial shocks and awes lose all meaning. But still, even with that bummer, I STILL enjoyed a final Feast, especially with the inclusion of comedian Josh Blue, the funniest person with cerebral palsy I’ve ever listened to. No, really, I’m not being a dick, he won Season 4 of Last Comic Standing –Â the dude is hilarious and a wonderful addition to Gulager’s world. There’s not doubt Feast III: The Happy Finish dips in quality, as the concept gets thinner with each film, but gah, I still enjoyed it! More gore, more stupidity, more silly character introductions, more, more, more! But to finish it all off, Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan scripted the PERFECT ending to their unique horror franchise, literally ending in the most absurd, unthinkable, out-of-left-field way Feast could have imagined to end. I don’t care, I love all these films, and I’ll shout it from the rooftops – as long as the background isn’t that terrible green-screen from Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.
