valentine's-day
via Warner Bros.

A Razzie-winning A-list atrocity rips the heartstrings right out of the streaming Top 10

All of these big names, and all we got was an unpolishable turd.

Throwing a bevvy of big names together into a star-studded anthology movie does work on occasion, but there’s always a flaming cinematic dumpster fire like Movie 43 lurking in the background to show what happens when it goes wrong. 2010’s Valentine’s Day might not be quite so bad, but it still found itself winning the awards nobody even wants to be nominated for.

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The first in the consistently terrible and loosely-connected trilogy that also houses New Year’s Eve and Mother’s Day, perhaps the only notable thing worth remembering about the diabolically self-indulgent and saccharine romp is that it marked the feature film acting debut of one Taylor Swift, who sure knows how to pick ’em after going to to appear in colossal flops Cats and Amsterdam.

valentine's-day
via Warner Bros.

In spite of an 18 percent Rotten Tomatoes score and Razzie victories for Worst Actor and Worst Supporting Actress, though, Valentine’s Day was far from a bpmb. In fact, it was a sizeable smash hit that brought in almost $217 million at the box office, despite being resoundingly panned by anyone unlucky enough to enter its orbit.

And yet, because we’re only 12 days away from the titular and entirely made up holiday used to convince smitten couples to throw their money away, Valentine’s Day has inevitably reappeared on the streaming charts. As per FlixPatrol, the star-stacked sh*tshow is currently the fourth most-watched flick among subscribers in the United States, but we can all sleep easy knowing that in less than a fortnight, it goes back into hibernation for another year.


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