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MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 28: Russell Crowe is seen at the Women’s Singles Final match between Aryna Sabalenka and Elena Rybakina of Kazakhstan during day 13 of the 2023 Australian Open at Melbourne Park on January 28, 2023 in Melbourne.
Photo by Andy Cheung/Getty Images

Russell Crowe laughs in the face of another Oscar by ruling himself out of the inevitable Donald Trump biopic

It would be a hell of a job for the hair and makeup department.

At some point in the future, somebody is going to find themselves brave and bold enough to mount a biographical feature film detailing the life and times of Donald Trump, even if you’d probably need a miniseries at best to do the orange-faced loon’s extensive and exhaustive story justice.

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However, one person who won’t be sitting in the hair and makeup chair for hours upon hours to perfectly recreate the Home Alone 2 star’s immaculately-manicured bird’s nest is Russell Crowe. Despite having an Academy Award win under his belt for Best Actor from three nominations in total, he hasn’t been nominated at all since 2002.

Everyone knows how much the Academy loves people playing other people – especially when prosthetics are involved – but the Gladiator veteran simply isn’t interested in even the entertaining the idea.

It would be a controversial gig to say the least, especially when half of the United States would instantly find their blood boiling at the mere thought. Then again, you’d imagine the MAGA mob would be a lot happier if a company like the film division of Ben Shapiro’s The Daily Wire stepped in to spearhead the project, but we’d much rather see it in the hands of A24 for nothing more than sh*ts and giggles.

A slow-burning psychological horror would certainly tick more than a few boxes based on the constant stream of revelations to keep coming down the pipeline, but heaven forfend anyone even considers a sex scene.


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Scott Campbell
News, reviews, interviews. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves; Words. Lots of words.