Move over, ‘Cocaine Bear’: ‘Crackcoon’ is gunning for horror’s drug-fueled critter crown

Horror is famous – or infamous, depending on how you feel about it – for jumping on any noteworthy bandwagon and churning out a slew of subpar successors. The decision to reinvent children’s favorites as blood-soaked slashers is the latest, but it’s happening at the same time as the success of Cocaine Bear has given rise to the likes of Crackcoon.

What’s better than a bear doing so much cocaine that it decides to go on a murderous rampage? Why, the answer is obviously a raccoon ingesting a designer synthetic drug abandoned in the woods by a dealer being chased by the police, which then transforms the critter into a killing machine with an unquenchable thirst for human flesh.

As if Attack of the Meth Gator wasn’t enough, somebody has genuinely written, shot, edited, and then completed a feature film about a crack-addled raccoon going on a killing spree, which isn’t a sentence anybody could have expected to read. It’s even got a full-length trailer, which promises exactly the sort of film anybody who catches wind of the title is expecting.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey was determined as one of the worst movies of all-time, whereas Cocaine Bear received mildly positive reviews and did a decent turn at the box office. Where will Crackcoon wind up when it comes to horror’s latest pair of hot crazes? Presumably much more towards the former than the latter, although it can’t be denied the curiosity factor is off the charts based entirely on such a wondrous title.