‘I still deal with things that I dealt with as a kid’: Michael Oher on recovering from his childhood trauma

The Blind Side tells the heartwrenching/warming story of Michael Oher, a powerful and bright young man who only ever needed a chance to make his mark on the world. Seemingly finding that opportunity when he met the Tuohy family, the film shows how his journey to becoming an icon in the sports realm began with things like picking out clothes he liked and sleeping in his own bed for the first time in high school.

Needless to say, Oher’s story in The Blind Side is an emotional experience, and not just for fans. Oher seeing his life story play out in front of him might have been cathartic in a way, but it wasn’t a total journey to healing — not then, and not now.

In recent years, it seemed as if something wasn’t quite right in regard to Oher and the family that adopted him, and that has only been made more accurate as news broke today that Oher has accused the Tuohy family of fraud, among other things, in a petition filed in Shelby Co., Tennessee.

In 2021, Oher opened up with People about the continued trauma he dealt with in his adulthood that links back to things he experienced as a child. 

“I’m still traumatized and I still deal with things that I dealt with as a kid. If you’re still dealing with trauma, [therapy] is definitely needed early on, because I had to do that to get back healthy.”

It goes without saying that coming from a place of trauma and feeling like you don’t have a home can’t be solved by adoption or someone suddenly being able to provide for you. The Tuohy family took Oher in and helped him to new opportunities, but it couldn’t erase the pain of his past, a pain he still tries to reckon with to this day.

In trying to live with old pain, Oher is also facing new struggles as the petition mentioned above alleges that the Tuohy family never actually adopted Oher, instead tricking him into signing documents that made the family his conservators, thus profiting off of The Blind Side, whereas he never did.

Oher told People, regarding his journey to better his mental health in 2021, that one way he tried to deal with pain in his life hurt him most in the long run: 

“The mind is the most powerful thing and it has to be healthy to be successful. I bottled so much stuff up throughout my life. I carried that with me and I think it hurt me in the long run. That may be the only thing holding you back from being where you want to be — talking to somebody.”

Talking to somebody, opening up about the need for help, and most importantly — believing that you’re worthy of a better tomorrow and that you deserve love and help can be a struggle in and of itself, and with a history as complicated as Oher’s, we’re hoping that the next step in his journey is part of the healing process for him. 

As we were all captivated by the story of the boy who was soft and gentle yet fierce and tough, may we remember that it is his story that deserves praise and celebration. We all know that you can “lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” While Oher did succeed when he was given a chance, that emotional story we all felt captivated by wouldn’t exist without him — his hero story would be much different if he didn’t believe in himself. 

Oher is the hero, the story, and the light at the end of the tunnel for himself — and we only hope that is recognized not just in a court of law, but by those who should have seen it from the beginning.