Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene
Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images

Marjorie Taylor Greene won’t get off the Fani train and now Matt Gaetz might be throwing naughty parties? GOP, please

The GOP is officially circling the drain.

The Republican party is increasingly losing its grip on reality as it leverages some of America’s most deranged citizens into our top positions of power. Somehow, even after propping up the least qualified people imaginable, the far-right is then surprised when its policies fail, bills fall flat, and party members are exposed as embarrassingly incompetent. Leading the incompetent pack are Republican blowhards and real-life ghouls Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz, who are giving the utterly tarnished party an even worse name than it already had ⏤ a feat that seemed truly impossibly just a few years back. While Greene dedicates both of her hard-won brain cells to her continued attacks on Georgia district attorney Fani Willis, Gaetz is ensuring that everyone knows how little is going on behind that impressively sized forehead.

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Greene’s beef with Willis centers around the Georgia DA’s investigation of the 2020 presidential election in Georgia — an investigation that yielded a slew of indictments against Donald Trump and his team. Those indictments could yield charges including racketeering and will eventually see Trump face yet another criminal trial. Greene can’t have that, especially if she wants a shot at becoming our nation’s next Vice President, so she’s been dedicating any time not spent ignoring her constituents or licking Trump’s boots to instead disparage Willis, a tactic that has yielded nothing but several failed ethics complaints and a slew of laughable tweets. Her latest attack — which sees her issuing an empty demand based around the right’s current favorite dog whistle — was met with a broad eye roll from the American public. Greene said she’d like Willis to “talk about her trips to Washington and how they colluded with the Jan 6 Committee, DOJ, and the White House,” but Willis isn’t listening. She’s too busy doing her actual job, something Marj is completely unfamiliar with.

Then there’s Gaetz, who’s been bogged down by damaging accusations since essentially his first day in office. Those accusations are catching up to him after a witness’s statement from 2021 came back to light. News is now spreading about said female witness who, back in 2021, told prosecutors she was paid to attend a “sex party” with the Florida congressman. Texts were reportedly provided to House Ethics investigators that revealed conversations between Gaetz and the woman, who was reportedly paid to engage in sexual relations with various men at the party.

Gaetz denies any knowledge of the payments, but he’s still in hot water as investigators dig deep into the damaging allegations. He and Greene are too wrapped up in their various controversies and misdeeds to actually get any work done, which begs a vital question: Why are these people still in office? They’re unqualified, unintelligent, and utterly shameful, yet they hold vital positions in our government. Combined with former one-term president Donald J. Trump’s stunning punishment for fraudulently inflating the values of his properties, it’s clear that the GOP train is currently headed toward imminent derailment, and perhaps even a cliff.

In the only good news in this situation, both Gaetz and Greene are up for reelection later this year. Maybe we can finally get people with working brains to replace them ⏤ if voters can get their own heads on straight.


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Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila carefully obsesses over all things geekdom and gaming, bringing her embarrassingly expansive expertise to the team at We Got This Covered. She is a Staff Writer and occasional Editor with a focus on comics, video games, and most importantly 'Lord of the Rings,' putting her Bachelors from the University of Texas at Austin to good use. Her work has been featured alongside the greats at NPR, the Daily Dot, and Nautilus Magazine.