‘Teach him a lesson’: Neighbor wars kick off as man fights to see who can show more aggressive kindness

The internet is home to a truly impossible number of toxic neighbor stories, as people ditch airing their dirty laundry in the backyard to instead flaunt it for the world to see.

TikTok has thus become a go-to location for piping-hot tea, delivered fresh each day by the hordes of humans across the globe who sport beef with their friends, family, and neighbors. The latter takes on a category of its own, particularly when HOAs get involved, and there is no end to the demand for more hot goss on the grouch next door.

Nestled right alongside this thriving sub-genre of internet fascination is a starkly similar, but vitally separate, category of neighborhood happenings. Illustrated perfectly by a truly charming upload shared by TikTok account @mowood40, there is officially proof of a beautiful world in which neighbors actually get along, and it’s luring in viewers in droves.

More than 840,000 of them have set their sights on the video already, with more incoming each day, enticed in by the hilariously baiting caption on the video. Starting things off strong with a note about “the audacity of some neighbors,” it’s only through the actual audio that the true story emerges. Perfectly narrated by the world’s perfect neighbor, our videographer notes that some new additions joined his area recently and immediately blasts their “audacity” upon moving in.

“This dude, the first thing he does is, when he moves in he cuts his grass,” he says. “And then he cuts my fu**in’ grass. He just moved in and this motherfu**er cut my grass.”

So you know what our neighborly hero did? He “woke up this morning,” hauled out the lawnmower, and cut two lawns worth of grass. “I cut my grass, and I cut his fu**in’ grass too,” he says, jokingly menacing in the video. He then adds that he’s taking things up a notch this time, trimming up his edges and of course heading into his neighbor’s territory to give those next door edges the same treatment.

That’s not all! Truly looking to seize the neighborly crown for his own, our original poster is going all-in with a good old fashioned barbecue. “Imma break out the BBQ pit, imma fu**in’ fill up my cooler full of beer, and imma offer him a steak and a beer. See how he fu**in’ likes this sh*t.”

The aggression with which the list of kindhearted acts is delivered suits the video perfectly, as one kind human details their aims to out-helpful a complete stranger. It’s exactly what the world needs, with so much turmoil and strife across the globe, and people were quick to note exactly that. Commenters predicted the beginning of a beautiful friendship in the wake of the video’s promised tasks, and quite a few people expressed their delight at discovering the “aggressive wholesomeness” corner of the social media app. There are also more than a few people wondering if any other houses on the block are up for sale so they can join in on the delightful competition and make some new friends in the process.

There are quite a few benefits behind doing just that, since engaging in acts of kindness are actually great for the brain. There are physiological benefits to being kind, which include boosting serotonin and dopamine levels, along with endorphins. You’re also summoning similar chemicals to release in the brains of those you’re helping out, so this genuinely represents the best win-win situation you could ask for.