‘Everyone needs a little Jesus’: Woman stunned when her home is invaded by an army of tiny Jesuses just in time for the holidays

The holiday season is right around the corner, looming in the near-distance like the warm hug we all need after that gut punch of an election.

Some of us are more prepared to welcome the season than others, of course, but no one is quite as prepped to ring in the holidays than TikToker @aliyaqaruku’s mother, whose Christmas decorations came in a bit early this year.

The content creator was lucky enough to get in on the unboxing for herself, which provided viewers with front-row seats to the unveiling of among the most unique holiday decorations out there. Her mom is really channeling the most saintly of seasons with her own personal cohort of Jesuses, and she could fill up more than one ark with the multicolored army now invading her home.

@aliyaqaruku enjoys around a minute of hilarity and bafflement as she upends a box of tiny Jesuses onto her counter — and then goes back for more. Her mother, it seems, ordered not one but at minimum two entire boxes of mini grinning Jesus figurines, complete with different colored mantles for variety.

The content creator is smitten with the horde of tiny saviors now occupying her home, but she shares the same question doubtless held by a bulk of viewers: What now? What does one do with a hundred — yes, a hundred — tiny smiling Sons of Man? The boxes even direct purchasers not to “separate” the set, which indicates that the manufacturer genuinely expects people to clear off an entire table (or a room in the home) to make space for an absolute army of multicolored carpenters. Or you can just go the same route as the TikToker and lean on them for priceless content.

Apprently @aliyaqaruku’s mother intends to put her new miniature horde “everywhere,” but that still doesn’t clear up any of our questions. What does that look like, exactly? Will they be scattered through the family’s Christmas tree, once it’s erected? Will they serve as “Jesus elf on the shelf,” as @aliyaqaruku predicts? Or will they be concealed, tucked into a million corners, behind plants, and inside cabinets, waiting to save the souls of whomever stumbles across them?

Those boxes of faith seem like the first step in an iconic Yuletide prank, but it seems @aliyaqaruku’s mother isn’t planning any mischief for her Good Shepherds. According to a comment delivered at the tail end of the video, it’s “going to be like the Christmas pickle, but they’re going to be everywhere.”

To most logical humans, this sparks a brand new question. What, in all the hells, is a Christmas pickle? I certainly didn’t know, before embarking on this strange quest with @aliyaqaruku and her mother, but I’ve since rectified that, and I’m here to shed the same light on all of you, dear readers. An American holiday tradition reportedly seized from Germany, the Christmas Pickle is just what it sounds like: A pickle (not a real one, typically) that is hidden among holiday decorations in the lead-up to Christmas. Whomever should discover it reportedly receives either a reward (like a gift) or good fortune for the coming year. Its origins are contested, but most certainly stretch back decades, making it a bonafide American staple.

You may not pray to the pickle gods like some state-side citizens, but you — like @aliyaqaruku — could be in the presence of a full hundred little Jesuses with a simple purchase. It’s a strange way to spend the holidays, but we live in strange times, so why not lean into the weird ways of the 2020s and ring in Christmas with an army at your back?