‘The plot thickens like that eyebrow’: Sofa sleuths can’t get over one Luigi Mangione detail that has yet to be addressed

True crime enthusiasts who also fancy themselves as eyebrow beauticians have flocked to social media to share their latest theory about Luigi Mangione. 

If you’re unaware, Luigi Mangione isn’t just a name that could double as a pizza flavor (I’m Italian, so I deeply appreciate the number of vowels), but also the main suspect in the fatal shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson last week. Since the whole case reeks of a Ryan Murphy TV adaptation — with its weeklong manhunt and a suspect who has captured the thirst of the internet — the shooting has given rise to a number of theories, with the latest relating to Mangione’s eyebrows (we’ve moved on from his impossibly chiseled torso).

Legions of amateur detectives have dissected the recently released mugshot of Mangione, which was taken following his arrest at a McDonald’s restaurant in Altoona, Pennsylvania, where a fellow customer spotted and reported him. According to these internet sleuths, Mangione’s eyebrows in the mugshot (which has reached a level of infamy on par with Lindsay Lohan’s) are thicker and more connected than the eyebrows seen in surveillance footage of the shooter shared prior to Mangione’s arrest. 

This, apparently, is a smoking gun for true crime enthusiasts, who have shared comparison shots of Mangione’s mugshot eyebrows alongside those of the masked man captured in CCTV images after the shooting. “If the masked man doesn’t have a unibrow, then why is Luigi arrested?,” one X user questioned, “The plot thickens like that eyebrow.” Others said Mangione must have “trimmed those eyebrows” prior to the shooting, or that he has “the fastest growing unibrow in the history of man” since the two images “are only a few days apart.” 

Some users admitted that their thoughts were merely “conspiracy theories,” and of course it’s important to reiterate that actual detectives take authority over a few netizens with an eye for brow care. In any case, I’m sure that as the main suspect in a case that’s caught international attention, Mangione has far greater concerns than whether his eyebrows are up to the internet’s standards. If it’s any consolation, I’ve always found comfort in the advice that your eyebrows are sisters, not twins, so Mangione should remember that if he ever happens to get wind of the eyebrow chatter.

It won’t be long before we move on to another topic pertaining to Mangione, since the man has already spawned enough headlines to inspire multiple episodes of the inevitable Murphy series. Since Mangione’s arrest earlier this week, there’s been discourse about his attractiveness, how attractive he is, and whether anyone has ever been more attractive. Sorry, I got distracted. 

There’s also been talk about an apparent YouTube video that he scheduled for release before his arrest, as well as interest in his other social media accounts, the motive behind his alleged shooting, and the charge of second-degree murder instead of first. We’ve also poured over his supposed watchlist (to Murphy’s delight, he’s apparently a Gleek), made countless Super Mario Bros. jokes, and discovered his choice of meal at the McDonald’s before his arrest. 

Before any more would-be detectives theorize that his meal was somehow a takedown of Big Potato, I’ll remind you that it’s just a hash brown, because hash browns are delicious and probably won’t be an option on the menu if Mangione is found guilty. That’s perhaps the biggest punishment of all.