Woman joins dating app to find love, but men matched with her to criticize her body. One day she decided enough was enough

Libby Rose Martin, a 22-year-old fashion designer from Kent, England, recently decided to take a stand after being targeted by a man on a dating app who matched with her solely to deliver unsolicited criticism about her weight. Martin chose to turn the tables on the bully rather than blocking him after the man sent her this message: “You sure can take in calories.” Per PEOPLE, he insisted he was merely a “hero” trying to “motivate” her. 

Martin responded with a powerful message, writing, “Just because I’m plus size doesn’t mean I’m unhappy in my body.” She continued by telling him, “Don’t EVER believe that you are respecting women if it’s only the ones you’re attracted to.” What makes her message so much more heartbreaking and powerful is that she revealed she has been battling an eating disorder for many years. 

She even challenged him to consider how he would feel if someone spoke to his own family members that way. Unfortunately, the man proved he was an immature dweeb, responding with more insults before eventually blocking her. However, it was a proud moment, and I think it might have been cathartic for Martin to speak up.

As every ‘fat’ girl in the world can tell you, including me, this isn’t an isolated instance

Martin joined a dating app in 2025, hoping to find a genuine connection. Instead, she has faced a constant barrage of body-shaming and bullying. Men often slide into her DMs, offering to be her personal trainer or telling her she will never find a boyfriend because of her appearance.  

She noted, “I think he saw someone who seemed quite genuine and vulnerable and thought he’d use that to his advantage to shame me and assumed I wasn’t going to clap back.” Frankly, Martin’s experience highlights a much larger, darker side of modern dating that is distressingly common. She pointed out that plus-sized individuals are often treated as a marginalized community. 

She shared that she’s even been fetishized, with people telling her they would have sex with her but wouldn’t want to be seen with her in public because it would be embarrassing. Unfortunately, I have heard this too. 

Martin also noted that pretty privilege is very real, explaining that when she goes out with her skinny friends, they are acknowledged by men, while she is frequently ignored. It is a tough reality to face, and it is understandable why she feels so frustrated by these double standards.

Despite the negativity, Martin hopes her story encourages other women to realize that this kind of bullying is a reflection of the harasser, not the victim. She explained that while many women prefer to just block these men, she wanted to use the opportunity to educate him. 

She correctly pointed out that these men are single for a reason, and their narrow-minded behavior is likely the exact thing preventing them from maintaining a healthy relationship. She remains firm in her belief that happiness isn’t defined by a number on a scale.

Many people mistakenly believe that shaming those with excess weight will motivate them to get healthier, but that is simply not the case. According to Healthline, research has found that fat shaming leads to significant psychological distress and is not a motivator for weight loss. 

In fact, studies show that instead of encouraging change, this type of discrimination can cause people to feel terrible about themselves, which often leads to increased stress, more calorie consumption, and further weight gain. It can also be linked to serious issues like depression, reduced self-esteem, and eating disorders. Unfortunately, this mental health spiral can lead to dangerous decisions and ill-advised medical procedures.

More importantly, this information isn’t new, especially in today’s world. So, most of the time, there is no denying the fact that fat shamers are just bullies working under the guise of being helpful. Unfortunately, they get away with it because it is socially acceptable. Here is the thing, though, you do not know what is happening in our lives, just as this match did not know Martin’s life.

So, for all the fat shamers out there, before you speak, try to think about this: You do not know if our obesity is because of an illness, you don’t see us in the gym, or our diets. You don’t know how fit or not we are. So do everyone a favor and don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, because beauty isn’t found on a scale.