Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Hitting yourself repeatedly in the face has more comedic value than this waste of celluloid, in which Kevin James plays a bumbling mall security guard whose character development begins and ends at "fat." There are so few successful jokes in the pic that it works best as an unintentional comedy, one in which James' overacting and the overwhelming stupidity of the Die Hard-aping plot get more laughs than the potty humor. Paul Blart: Mall Cop appeals to kids who think that making fun of fat people is a terrific leisure activity - any parents trapped in front of it would surely prefer to be run over by a portly mall cop on a Segway than endure any more.