As every PS3 owner is currently depressed that their beloved online network is locked away in a top secret cyber hospital, and with no obvious indicator of when it’s going to be free to leave. I thought it might be of therapeutic value to reflect on the best games the console has to offer you if you need to let off some steam. That’s right; we’re talking about releasing anger in a game situation-so you don’t end up doing it in the real world. Like a stress ball, but with more HD.
So you’ve been having a rubbish day, work was dreary, your watch broke, and you have been stuck in traffic for several millennia. What PS3 disc will make you feel all zen again after a few hours of dedicated..um..meditating.
In no particular order:
God Of War 3: Kratos has always been one of those dudes who you simply would not want to piss off, the fact he rips the head off almost everyone he meets should be enough. All the ludicrously violent and devilishly creative ways he punishes his foes make him the perfect character to inhabit if you’re in a poopy mood. It’s sick, it’s twisted, and by gosh it’s psychologically unsettling- but nothing releases tension like pulling an undead Olympic sentry in half with your bare hands. That and swinging those fiery chains of pure devastation into a charging Minotaur.
Bulletstorm: While it’s surprising that the game hasn’t been banned from the universe, it remains a wonderfully strong entry into the ‘anger management’ genre. With its crude innuendo and experimental weaponry, Bulletstorm teaches you how to inflict all manner of evil death dealing and actively encourages you for being all the more sadistic.
Non-gamers that see this use it to superficially fuel their trash stereotyping but us gaming folk can see through that. Allowing players to wrap a ‘grenade-gag’ round an enemy’s throat, pin him to the ground with a drill/crossbow gun, then blast his wriggling body into a messy painting using no less than a miniature cannonball, is amongst other things…pure genius.
Mortal Kombat: Assuming you’re not the worst player ever at fighting games, MK will bring you inner peace as soon as you bring the first fist into an unsuspecting face, or those impossibly satisfying combos. It’s those noises. Seriously they should make a relaxation CD you can drift off to sleep to after a stressful day. Thud crunch dead. Oh one more thing: fatality. Hopefully I won’t have to explain that one.
Burnout Paradise: Particularly if driving is contributing to your stress levels. Screeching round street corners and utterly decimating any distant memory of the Highway Code. Anybody would be hard pushed not to start grinning when they indulge in a bit of Burnout flavoured travel. Drifting in front of oncoming traffic, barrel rolling over car parks, and generally setting the road on fire with mouth watering speeds. And that’s before you even start talking about takedowns. Nothing quite like watching another racer plummet off a bridge into the side of a petrol station eh?
Black Ops Zombies: As discussed before blowing apart the undead is a wonderfully rewarding task, and whether you like the rest of the game or not, the zombie mode in BO is among the best. The fact is that you will kill at least 50 or 60 even if you’re not particularly good at it. The feeling of satisfaction when you pump a whole magazine into a slow moving line of brain munchers is oddly nice. Turning the volume up and making a doomed, determined, and manic last stand in a corner of a map makes for some instant relief.
That is obviously a very select list so feel free to post up any of your personal favourites and we’ll take a look and add the best ones on here.
