Chris Evans may be “America’s Ass” but the internet isn’t willing to concede that he’s “The Sexiest Man Alive” yet, no matter what the cover of People Magazine would have you believe. That title belongs, in their loudly voiced opinion, to perennial nice guy and almost certainly immortal god, Paul Rudd.
Evans’ new “Sexiest Man” title was made official today with the release of People‘s annual cover story, featuring an accompanying photoshoot that showed the First Avenger, showing off his now superlative physique and a few glimpses of his array of tattoos. But despite the significant amount of physical evidence, Ant-man’s fans simply weren’t having it.
Rudd’s fans were quick to assemble and form battle lines as the news broke that Evans had become the new heir to the “waiting in the supermarket checkout line horniness” that only People’s Sexiest Man Alive can invoke. Evans might be able to hurl a shield really well, they argued, but can he really compete with the eternal good looks of obvious Timelord Paul Rudd?
Some fans even seemed to toss down the gauntlet a suggest that violence was in order. We haven’t heard any rumors of the two actors meeting up at a Berlin airport for a traditional superhero duel but we are keeping our ears to the ground.
One user pointed out that Cap TOTALLY copied Ant-Man’s beard.
And some users called for an immediate accord. Guys! Guys! They’re both great. And sexy!
For Evans’ part, he seemed to be mildly embarrassed by the honor, telling People it was “something that as I become old and saggy I can look back on and say ‘I remember then…’ “
Which will no doubt happen around 2061 when Rudd is named “Sexiest Man Alive” for the seventh time.
Published: Nov 8, 2022 11:37 am