‘Somebody tell bruh this ain’t helping the case’: Don’t tell Costco, but Diddy’s lawyer has a justification for all that baby oil

Federal agents raided Sean “Diddy” Combs’ homes in Miami and Los Angeles in March, and Diddy’s federal indictment revealed they recovered, among other evidence, guns, drugs, and reportedly, some 1,000 bottles of baby oil. With Diddy now in custody, Marc Agnifilo, Diddy’s lawyer, has offered a creative explanation for why Diddy had so much of the stuff.

Among other charges, Diddy is indicted for throwing so-called “Freak Offs” sex parties, for which Diddy allegedly used drugs and violence to coerce people to participate, and that also involved male and female sex workers, some of whom Diddy transported across state lines. Some reports say 1,000 bottles of baby oil were recovered from Diddy’s residences, while others say there was a mix of baby oil and lubricant, and some say just lubricant. (In case you’re wondering, WebMD says never use baby oil for sex.)

Still, the reported 1,000 bottles of baby oil or lube are suspicious in light of the sex crimes Diddy is accused of committing. On that note, Diddy’s attorney was recently asked how he’d explain the abundance of bottles in Diddy’s homes — do the math, that’s roughly 110 gallons of baby oil, depending on the size of each bottle — and Agnifilo said his high-profile client lives near and likes to shop at a well-known bulk retailer.

Diddy makes Costco runs just like you and I, according to Agnifilo

According to Agnifilo, Diddy lives near a Costco Wholesale location, and like many Americans, Diddy likes to buy in bulk. Agnifilo also disputed that 1,000 bottles were found. He added, “These were consensual adults doing what consensual adults do. We can’t get so puritanical in this country to think that sex is a bad thing,” signaling how Diddy’s legal team plans to defend their client: Everyone involved in Diddy’s alleged sex crimes consented.

After Diddy’s federal indictment, a woman named Thalia Graves filed a separate suit against Diddy, one of several suits filed against the musician alleging brutal sexual assault and drugging, so depending on how those cases play out, Agnifilo seems to have an interesting definition of consent. As for Agnifilo, he represented NXIVM cult leader Keith Raniere, currently spending 120 years in prison for sexual abuse, racketeering, and fraud, so his track record defending high-profile apparent sex offenders is — to say the least — not great.

‘No one Jury in America is buying that’

Based on X’s reaction to Agnifilo’s statement about Diddy buying baby oil at Costco in bulk, Diddy and his legal should consider a new strategy. Comments ranged from, “No jury in America is buying that ‘he lives down the street from Costco’ argument. Better get more creative than that,” to “Somebody tell bruh this ain’t helping the case.” Others pointed out Costco doesn’t sell baby oil in such large quantities. A quick search of the Costco website yielded no baby oil results at all.

In any case, Agnifilo’s patently absurd explanation for the vast amounts of baby oil reportedly recovered by federal agents at Diddy’s residences wasn’t the only interesting part of the lawyer’s comments. Referring to Diddy, the attorney called him “laser-focused,” “engaged,” and “helpful,” consistent with other reports that Diddy plans to testify at his trial. “We’re going through the defense … His spirits are relatively good,” Agnifilo added.