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King Charles allegedly does not squeeze out his own toothpaste or put on his own pants by himself

Not even like a big boy!

Prince Charles, Prince of Wales attends the "A Starry Night In The Nilgiri Hills" event hosted by the Elephant Family in partnership with the British Asian Trust at Lancaster House on July 14, 2021 in London, England.
Photo via WPA Pool / Getty Images

Royals — they’re nothing like us!

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So says a forthcoming new book from author Christopher Andersen about the newly-crowed King Charles III hitting shelves on Tuesday, which will pull back the curtain on “one of the most eccentric sovereigns Great Britain has ever had.” Andersen reportedly spoke with “numerous” sources for The King: The Life of Charles III, and among the juicy tidbits he learned is that the 73-year-old does not squeeze out his own toothpaste or put on his pants by himself.

According to Fox News, the King’s former valet Michael Fawcett was responsible for a number of eyebrow-raising duties, including squeezing his toothpaste onto Charles’ royal monogrammed toothbrush, shaving his face, laying out his pajamas, and helping him put on his trousers and shoes.

Likewise, another former servant detailed an extremely fussy-sounding breakfast routine that Charles requires upon waking in the morning.

The former Prince of Wales’ breakfast tray had to “contain a cup and saucer to the right with a silver spoon pointing outward at an angle of five o’clock. Butter must come in three balls and be chilled. The royal toast is always on a silver rack, never on a plate. Assorted jams, jellies, marmalades and honey are served on a separate silver tray.”

Chilled butter? What a monster! His toast must look like it was dragged from the back of a car by the time he’s done with it.

But as shocking as all of that is, it still doesn’t hold a candle to previous revelations that surfaced earlier this week. In the book, Andersen claims that Charles brought his old nanny out of retirement to repair his childhood teddy bear for him when he was in his 40s — which he naturally requires to be tucked into bed with him at night. (Another lucky valet’s job!)

But perhaps most shocking of all, Andersen also wrote that Charles allegedly once “grabbed his valet by the throat” after ripping a sink off the wall and smashing it because he couldn’t find his missing cufflinks. You can bet that we probably won’t be seeing that one on season 5 of The Crown, anyway.