Stephen King and a volatile mermaid gently remind us that too many Republicans are ‘dog-hating sociopaths’

It seems the Republican side of the lawn might just be the place where the “Beware of Dog” signs are not just for decoration. 

Stephen King, the master of horror, has once again shone a spotlight on the dark underbelly of American politics. This time, he’s retweeted a post by The Volatile Mermaid (a name that suggests they are as mythical and unforgiving as the creatures of the deep), which calls out several prominent Republicans for their alleged mistreatment of man’s best friend. 

Mike Huckabee’s son, David Huckabee, reportedly hanged a stray dog at a Boy Scout camp in 1998. Yes, you read that right. Hanged. A. Dog. It’s like a scene straight out of one of King’s novels, except this monster is real and related to a prominent Republican figure. I guess when your dad is a failed presidential candidate and your last name is Huckabee, you’ve got to find some way to stand out from the crowd. But seriously, who looks at a defenseless pet and thinks, “You know what? I’m gonna string this little guy up like a pinata and see what happens?”

I’ll tell you who – a budding sociopath, that’s who. Hanging a dog is not a normal teenage prank.

As the saying goes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and the Huckabee family tree is rotten to the core. 

Speaking of rotten apples, Sarah Palin’s son, Track Palin, has had his fair share of legal troubles over the years. He allegedly beat his girlfriend in a drunken rage back in 2016. Before he graduated to domestic violence, Track had already shown his true colors by allegedly standing on a dog. I guess when your family values include treating women and animals like punching bags, it’s all just semantics, right? 

Palin herself has a long history of supporting the brutal slaughter of wolves from helicopters. Palin actively promoted this aerial hunting method through legislative efforts and even proposed offering a $150 bounty for the left foreleg of each killed wolf, but (thankfully) this specific bounty program was blocked by a judge. Additionally, Palin’s administration approved the policy of gassing wolf dens to kill pups as part of the state’s predator control program.

Not to be outdone, Tomi Lahren admitted kicking her dog multiple times during a livestream. When you spend all day spewing vitriol on Fox News, you’ve got to take out your frustrations somewhere. It’s the perfect crime, really. Until someone catches you on camera and exposes you for the heartless monster you truly are.

Surely not all Republicans are secret canine-despising maniacs? Mitt Romney’s dog might beg to differ. During a 12-hour road trip, Romney strapped his Irish Setter, Seamus, to the roof of his car. Apparently, he thought it was more important to keep his luggage inside the vehicle.

Romney claims he’s a devout Mormon, a religion that supposedly teaches kindness towards all living things. Can you see the blatant irony in what these Republicans spew and what they actually do? They’ll stand on their soapboxes and pontificate about the need for compassion. It’s a disconnect that would be laughable if it weren’t so infuriating.

Even Ted Cruz isn’t immune to the GOP’s dog-hating ways and he proved it when he once left his poodle, Snowflake, in a “freezing” house during a Texas ice storm to visit Cancun. But the crown jewel of dog-hating Republicans has to be Kristi Noem. In her memoir, No Going Back, Noem confesses to shooting her own 14-month-old puppy for acting like a puppy. And if this is how Noem treats her own pets, I shudder to think what she’d do to the rest of us if given the chance.

Last but not least, Dr. Mehmet Oz, the Republican Senate candidate from Pennsylvania, is not only a part of this rogue’s gallery but also somehow manages to outdo them all. Dr. Oz was apparently running a horror show masquerading as a research lab at Columbia University. He has a history of torturing and killing dogs in the name of “science”. But hey, I guess that’s just the price of progress, right?

Now, to be fair, we don’t have all the details about every one of these incidents. It’s possible there’s more to the story in some cases. But when you have this many high-profile examples of animal mistreatment piling up, it starts to seem like less of a coincidence and more of a pattern.

Or maybe it’s the obsession with law and order, the idea that any infraction, no matter how minor, must be met with swift and severe punishment. Whatever the reason, it’s clear that for some on the right, “family values” don’t necessarily extend to the furry members of the household.

But perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by any of this. After all, the Republican party has a long and sordid history of prioritizing profits over people (and apparently, pets). From supporting big oil companies that pollute our air and water to defending the rights of gun manufacturers in the face of mass shootings, the GOP has made it clear time and again that they value money and power above all else. So really, is it any wonder that they’d extend that same callous disregard to their pets who are innocent enough to see them as their only family?