Before we go any further, dear reader, a warning: If you’re eating, I must advise you to stop right now, because we’re going to be talking about poop ⏤ specifically, Donald Trump’s.
Yes, out of all the allegations Trump is facing right now, one of the biggest from the week of April 15 was whether or not he ripped one in court. Of course we can’t know for certain; we weren’t there. Maybe he did fart, maybe he didn’t, but new evidence does suggest another possibility, this one much more horrifying: that Trump actually did something much, much worse. Something we all do-do, but, well, maybe not in courtrooms during mandatory voir dire.
How did Trump get the nickname “Diaper Don,” and does it mean what we think it means?
The rumors regarding Donald Trump’s bowel movements can be traced back to stand-up comedian Noel Casler, who worked as a staffer for the businessman on Celebrity Apprentice and has also worked on the Miss USA beauty pageants. Despite having allegedly signed an NDA, he decided to start speaking out about the sh** he saw on set ⏤ literally.
Casler appeared on episode 285 of “The Hole” podcast back in 2020 and revealed some stomach-churning secrets that Trump definitely wouldn’t want the world to know.
“The nickname for The Apprentice, if you’re a boom operator on that show, is the S*** Show. Because he s*** himself publicly.”
According to Casler, the cause of Trump’s uncontrollable bowels was “a combination of like 30 years of stimulant abuse and eating nothing but McDonald’s.” Yep, that would probably do it. The comedian went on to explain that the former president actually has zero control over his anal cavity whatsoever and wears Depends, AKA adult diapers, all the time as a result. The nickname “Diaper Don” should now be making a bit more sense.
Casler gave even more details (not that we wanted any) about what he witnessed, explaining how the evacuation could take minutes and that the smell was obviously not of the pleasant variety. (Look, I did try to warn you that this article would verge on disgusting.) According to Casler, whenever Trump would fly into a rage (which was often), he would defecate after the smallest things set him off ⏤ things as simple as not knowing a word on a cue card. The worst part was that Trump was not even aware that he’d done it; usually someone else, like his poor wife, would have to inform him that he’d made another mess in his pants. You know what they say ⏤ the biggest surprise is a fart with a lump in it.
Others have come forward claiming to have seen Trump soil his diaper on separate occasions, with one producer claiming that there was someone on set nicknamed “wet wipe” whose job it was to wipe Trump down and change him. They also claimed that there have been multiple times when Trump has done it in public, and in some cases with his diaper visible. One example was his Wrestlemania appearance opposite Vince McMahon.
It really makes you wonder about that rumor regarding Trump farting in court the week his hush trial began. Was it just a fart, or something more? Something moist with the power to make a potential juror question their own fortitude? Either way, Marjorie Taylor Green should probably think twice about kissing his rear from now on. Unless, you know, she’s into that kind of thing.
Published: Apr 18, 2024 03:51 pm