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10 Hilariously Inaccurate Historical Epics

For reasons unbeknownst to most logical human beings, moviegoers will soon be "treated" to Pompeii, a historical epic from Paul W.S. Anderson, the man who delivered such modern masterpieces as Resident Evil and The Three Musketeers. For fans of Kit Harington's chiseled abs, the film may prove to be well-worth shelling out a extra few dollars for 3D, but for the rest of us, Pompeii will likely hold little more than a few eye-catching explosions and a heaping of laughable moments instantly questionable by any of us who can point Italy out on a map. Even die-hard Anderson fans may be turned off once they realize that Milla Jovovich is nowhere to be found and, even if she was, it would be really, really hard for her to punch, kick and shoot her way through millions of tons of volcanic ash.

2) Gladiator

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Ridley Scott’s historical epic is a vastly entertaining blockbuster, but it also made a lot of mistakes in relating the truth about the political atmosphere in ancient Rome. Aside from Maximus Deximus Meridius never actually existing, perhaps the most serious error is Gladiator‘s treatment of Commodus.

For one thing, Commodus ruled for much longer than he did in the film (12 years versus what couldn’t have been more than two or three). Commodus was younger and in better shape than suggested by the film, and he certainly didn’t murder his father, Marcus Aurelius, or want to get with his sister (ew). Actually, Aurelius died of the plague. Commodus didn’t die in the arena, either. He eventually wound up getting strangled in his bath by a wrestler named Narcissus, long after Gladiator took place.

Many other inaccuracies plague Gladiator. German Shepherds are seen in a few scenes (which you can clearly see in the video below), but that dog breed definitely did not exist at the time of ancient Rome. Catapults would not have been used in battle, as they were cumbersome and difficult to maneuver from place to place. And in the film archers are commanded to “fire” by their commanders, which makes absolutely no sense considering that firearms did not exist at the time, and so no one would have considered shooting an arrow into the air to be “firing” anything. The only thing that should have been fired as far as Gladiator is concerned was its team of history consultants.

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