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10 Hilariously Inaccurate Historical Epics

For reasons unbeknownst to most logical human beings, moviegoers will soon be "treated" to Pompeii, a historical epic from Paul W.S. Anderson, the man who delivered such modern masterpieces as Resident Evil and The Three Musketeers. For fans of Kit Harington's chiseled abs, the film may prove to be well-worth shelling out a extra few dollars for 3D, but for the rest of us, Pompeii will likely hold little more than a few eye-catching explosions and a heaping of laughable moments instantly questionable by any of us who can point Italy out on a map. Even die-hard Anderson fans may be turned off once they realize that Milla Jovovich is nowhere to be found and, even if she was, it would be really, really hard for her to punch, kick and shoot her way through millions of tons of volcanic ash.

8) Robin Hood

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To be fair, director Ridley Scott and screenwriter Brian Helgeland had less historical records to work with than most of the other director-writer pairs on this list, considering that the very existence of Robin Hood has been called into question by every historian worth his or her salt. Still, there are some real groaners in this historical epic.

King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston), who didn’t actually speak English, was not on his home from the Holy Land when the film opens in 1199 – by that time, he was already abroad in France on a different mission, not fighting his way back from the Holy Land, which he did years earlier.

All the soldiers battling in Robin Hood are decked out in chain-mail, which was much heavier than the film would have you believe. Chain-mail was also absurdly expensive at the time; only nobles would have been able to afford it. The same goes for glass goblets, which almost all the film’s characters throw back wine in like they’re red solo cups.

Other inaccuracies include the singing of songs that hadn’t been written at the time (“Frere Jacques”), people measuring time in minutes and friars running around, despite not existing in 1199. Hmmm. And that giant battle at the film’s finale? Never happened. French King Philip Augustus is depicted as invading the British coast, but in actuality, he was more concerned with defending his own land. After Richard’s death, King John sent English soldiers into France, not vice versa.

The biggest error, however, is the film’s treatment of the Magna Carta. In the film, Hood’s father helped to write it, and it plays an instrumental part in the film. There’s only one small problem: the document wasn’t written until 1215, a solid 16 years after Robin Hood supposedly takes place. Oops.

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