Andrew Garfield once again strenuously denies he’s the Spider-Man with a fake ass

andrew garfield no way home

One of the great conspiracies of our time has been bubbling away since the release of Spider-Man: No Way Home, and yet we’re no closer to getting a definitive answer to the burning question that’s been preying on our minds, hearts, and souls since December. Which one of the three Peter Parkers had a fake ass under their costume?

Tom Holland ignited the speculation by revealing that one of the Holy Trinity was sporting a prosthetic posterior under their suit to hoodwink audiences into believing that there was more junk in their trunk than we’d initially been led to believe.

Andrew Garfield came right out and said it wasn’t Tobey Maguire, going so far as to praise his co-stars glutes in an interview by stating with no uncertain terms that “Tobey’s got back”. In theory, that would leave Marc Webb and Jon Watts’ Spideys as the two remaining culprits.

However, during an appearance on Late Night with Seth Myers, the two-cheeked elephant in the room was brought up once again, forcing two-time Academy Award nominee Garfield into a state of denial.

“All I know is that I am totally unmodified, and that’s all I can share. He’s just stirring the pot, old Tom. He can’t help himself. There’s an expression that we have in entertainment, which is that we want to put bums on seats. We want to get the audience sat and paying their tickets. Tom is pretty great at creating the subgenres of games for you all while you’re in the cinema going, ‘Well, that butt doesn’t look real.’ ‘Tobey’s looks like it might be real.’ ‘Could Andrew have that much a–? Maybe. Potentially.'”

It seems that we’re no closer to the mystery of the false buttocks being solved, then, but we can sleep easy knowing Spider-Man: No Way Home fans have been poring over the evidence on multiple occasions to try and find the imposter.

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Scott Campbell

News, reviews, interviews. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves; Words. Lots of words.