The MCU ain’t what it used to be. As much as everyone loved Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and even The Marvels has found streaming success, there’s no denying that Marvel simply isn’t the cinematic juggernaut it was five years ago. Now it’s more like the Vinnie Jones Juggernaut.
The aforementioned Brie Larson sequel is the perfect proof in the pudding: in 2019, Captain Marvel brought home over $1 billion at the box office while The Marvels only managed just over $200 million in 2023. It’s easy to argue, then, that the MCU is now operating at a mere fifth of the power it was back before Avengers: Endgame came along and set an unreachable pinnacle that meant we could only go down from here. Just look at how little positive hype for Avengers 5 and 6 there is out there — all the attention is negative, due to the Jonathan Majors recasting drama sucking up all the air.
And yet there’s somehow an even bigger indicator that the MCU is just a shell of its former self, and there’s nothing we can do about it. A new cinematic universe is rising up, and it presents a genuine threat to Marvel. Not because it’s so good, but because it’s so, so bad.
The Poohniverse is here to prove just how far the MCU has fallen
You saw might’ve heard about Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey… Well, now get ready for The Poohniverse. It’s true. Although it feels like an April Fool’s Day prank come early, the makers of the Disney-spoofing slasher are dead-set on making their own multiverse. In addition to the previously announced Blood and Honey 2, Bambi: The Reckoning, and Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare, The Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble has been officially announced. It’ll feature Pooh, Piglet, Bambi, Peter Pan, and many more twisted fairy tale icons coming together to mutilate your childhoods.
As the poster and title — The Avengers was released as Avengers Assemble in the U.K. — make abundantly clear, The Poohniverse is an unsubtle attempt to evolve from poking fun at Disney to mocking Marvel. Of course, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and it’s not like Monsters Assemble is going to be much of a rival financially. The indie British franchise’s first chapter only earned $5 million at the box office, after all.
Even so, the creation of The Poohniverse in the first place marks a significant shift in the kinds of illicit progeny that the MCU spawns. Cast your minds back to 2017 and you’ll remember the last time a horror universe inspired by Marvel was mooted — Universal’s Dark Universe, which stumbled with its opening gambit, The Mummy remake. Once upon a time, then, rival Hollywood studios were pumping millions upon millions into their attempts to replicate the Marvel formula. The first Marvel-style horror franchise starred Tom Cruise. The new one stars a knock-off version of Tigger.
Without any offense intended towards the filmmakers or those who enjoyed it, (presumably ironically and/or when high enough to be halfway to the moon), Blood and Honey is categorically one of the worst movies of all time, according to both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes. For the MCU to be the guiding light of its franchise follow-ups is a serious blow to Marvel’s pride and ego. Forget James Gunn’s DCU, Marvel might want to watch out for the Poohniverse instead.
Oh, bother.
Published: Mar 18, 2024 02:18 pm