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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Death Is Such A Cockblock

Everyone knows the unwritten horror rules, and everyone also knows one of the most important rules is avoiding sexual intercourse completely. Why? Because you're just inviting trouble. Just think of all the scenarios you could get yourself caught in. For starters, sneaking away from a group of survivors is about as dumb a move you can make, but then engaging in an act that leaves both you and your partner vulnerable? Yup, you've just made yourself a prime target. Let's take that one step further and pretend you don't know who the killer is - are you really going to risk sleeping the the enemy? Especially when the enemy is killing off his victims one by one? If you want to survive a horror movie, just keep it in your pants, it's that simple!

Remy – Doggy Style Death Style from Hatchet II

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You know what I hate? “What Remy!”

I hate when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, hitting it from behind like a madman, when suddenly some inbred Louisiana slasher legend comes up to me and cuts my head off – whilst I am still inside her. Not only does it ruin the mood, but it totes kills my boner. Actually, not really, but it does kill me.

This stylized death scene was not only fun and silly, but played out the “sex will kill you” rule that was so prevalent in slasher movies from the 80s, which is the sub-genre that inspired Adam Green’s Hatchet series. Also, extra props for a doggy style kill. As you will see from most of this list, usually it’s the girl on top during these kinds of scenes, but Hatchet II took that common occurrence one step further and busted it down – animal style. For that, it tops my list and gets an exceptionally creepy grin from me.

Oh yeah, and then there’s the uppercunting of the dude’s partner with an axe…Victor Crowley is a sick son of a bitch.

Nato – Water Bed Eruption from Bride Of Chucky

C’mon, everyone has a weird thing for mirrors if they’re around when things get freaky. Sure, standing mirrors on either side are fun enough, giving you visual angles like you’re in your own porno, but the mother of all erotic mirror fantasies is having a grand one hanging over your head on the ceiling. Don’t deny it. You know you like it. Russ and Diane have the same passion for voyeuristic lovemaking in Bride Of Chucky, and they even throw a waterbed into the mix – only making their deaths that much more “explosive.” (See what I did there!?)

While this wild couple goes at it, Chucky’s bride Tiffany sneaks in the room to witness their romantic sex session, and decides she has her own use for a bottle of champagne lying next to the bed. Right as Diane looks in the mirror above her and sees a murderous doll staring right back at her, Tiffany chucks the bottle upwards into the mirror, sending shards of jagged daggers down on the happy couple. Slicing up Russ and Diane, the shards also cause the water bed to erupt in a bloody explosion.

But don’t worry, there’s still a sweet moment at the end of this scene! Sure, Russ and Diane are dead, but just as the bloody water washes up against Chucky’s feet, he realizes Tiffany is the love of his life, and he proposes with Diane’s ring. Tiffany says yes, they exchange their mutual happiness, and then they fuck.

Yup, how about some hot evil doll on doll action? No? Too bad, here it is, just as a little bonus:

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