Remy – Ooops, I Banged An Alien from Species
You know what I hate? “Ummm…what Remy?”
I hate when a gorgeous woman picks me up at a bar, takes me home with her only to reveal her true alien form during sex, and after taking my seed, kills me violently. Man, I HATE that.
Species was that 90s movie about a sexy-ass alien who just needed to get knocked up so she could have more alien babies. I’m pretty sure the plot may have been deeper than that, but not by much. All I really remember is this scene with Natasha Henstridge fucking and killing Doctor Octopus, need I remember anything else?
The sad part is, gruesome death and all, I still would have fucked her.
(Sorry, no video clips are available and that’s literally the best picture I could get.)
Nato – Creature From The Stanky Lagoon from Piranha 3DD
Alright, I admit I’m cheating a little bit with this pick, but I mean, the dude might as well be dead, he had to cut his own dong off – am I right guys? Oh wait, you want me to rewind so you know “WTF” just happened? Probably a good idea…
Earlier in the movie, we see Kartina Bowden’s character Shelby swimming around in a lake, and this is where a piranha swims up her hoo-ha. Yup, right up in there, and we’re supposed to believe she’s walking around with a little carnivorous fish living up inside her. Whatever, did you see the rest of the movie? I mean David Hasselhoff is a lifeguard in it – THERE IS NO LOGIC HERE. Anyway, her boy-toy comes over to do the nasty, they go at it, the piranha doesn’t take too kindly to being poked by some annoying object, so he bites down and latches on. From here, as you can see, this genius dude thinks it necessary to chop his dick off, assuming it’s the only way to get the piranha off.
I know, how didn’t this thing win an Oscar, am I right?
*As a note, the video is in German (right?). It’s the first one I found, and I thought the accents made it hilarious. That is all.