As the Christmas-loving masses gear up for the long-awaited arrival of Santa Claus, passionate moviegoers are engaging in a jam-packed marathon of joyous movies, and Home Alone is undoubtedly at the top of everybody’s list — for the simple fact that folks want to indulge in its outrageous booby traps.
Let’s not kid ourselves here, we’ve all had a moment of pause during a Home Alone rewatch and thought: “Wow, is Kevin actually trying to murder Harry and Marv?” I mean, I get it, they broke into his home, so he’s simply trying to defend it. But come on, some of his homemade booby traps are just downright deadly and morbid. At the end of the day, watching a supposedly innocent 8-year-old kid smash cans of paint in the faces of two criminals feels completely warped.
So, let’s unpack this list of wide-range booby traps seen in the original Home Alone movies and decide which ones are the cruelest.
10. The frozen stairs
For those with back problems, it’s probably best to look away during the scenes where both Harry and Marv slip down the stairs covered in ice. It might seem hard to believe that they could have died during this trap, but smacking their heads on hard concrete was a strong possibility, which easily would have either killed them or given them a concussion. For Harry especially, he could have easily fractured his tailbone or back during his fall on the front steps.
9. The nail in the foot
As far as other deranged traps on this list, Marv getting a nail in the foot is relatively tame in comparison. Still, a nail going straight through your foot would likely warrant a visit to the emergency room, but such a booby trap falls more under the category of “cartoon cruelty” than outright sadistic. There’s far more brutal traps, sure, but it’s hard to discount just how much this would hurt.
8. The burnt head
Is it hot in here, or is it just Harry’s head on fire? For eager audiences, watching a blowtorch trigger and set fire to Harry’s head is a gut-busting experience that leaves us all laughing, but when you take a step back, you have to assume he would have extensive burn wounds and would need to be rushed to the emergency room in a hurry. This one would be both painful and harmful, but at least he would survive.
7. The pounds of cement
One could argue that Marv undoubtedly got the worst of Kevin’s traps in both Home Alone films, especially in regards to getting a ton of cement dumped on him. After tugging on a mysterious rope, Marv receives a rude awakening when 100 pounds of cement lands directly on his head. Truthfully, he’d probably either be dead or have a shattered neck, so there’s no denying this trap in particular was deadly.
6. The burning rope
This is the part where the list starts to take a sadistic turn. And, honestly, I can’t believe I started to see how much of a villain Kevin is while rewatching as an adult, but here we are. After Kevin shimmies down a tightrope, Harry and Marv instinctively follow, although they aren’t aware the rope is soaked with kerosene. So when Kevin sets the rope ablaze, the two burglars let go and land on hard concrete. Yeah, they should have been dead here.
5. The electrocution
Paging Dr. Marv, your electrocution trap is ready. Arguably the most vile trap in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Kevin purposely thinks ahead and sets up a plan where Marv has to use the sink to try and clean paint off his body. But when he twists the faucet, his entire being is immediately shocked with tons of electricity as Kevin keeps dialing up the voltage. Do I even have to say it? Fine. Marv would be burnt toast (and probably dead).
4. The paint cans
Imagine getting smacked in the face with paint cans while an 8 year-old looks on and laughs. The trap is executed after Harry and Marv attempt to follow Kevin up the stairs as he tries to escape the house and gain freedom from the burglars. Without a doubt, the duo would have suffered serious facial fractures and probably would have had dual concussions. Luckily, Hollywood wouldn’t let that happen in a children’s movie.
3. The iron bar
Without a doubt, the second Home Alone features some insanely horrid booby traps, with the iron bar being one of the worst. Much like in the original with the paint cans, Kevin uses a large iron bar to smack Harry and Marv in the face, causing them to fall backwards and all the way down to the basement. Even if they hadn’t died, Harry and Marv would have fractured several bones and definitely wouldn’t have been able to get up and walk.
2. The kerosene toilet
Sticking your entire head in a toilet alone sounds completely wacky, but doing so while the toilet is filled to the brim with kerosene is simply an accident waiting to happen. But when the time comes for Harry to stick his head somewhere to try and put out another fire, he turns to the toilet in the hopes the water will cool his head. Unfortunately for Harry, the toilet is full of kerosene, leading to a massive explosion that undoubtedly would have killed him. Now, this booby trap is just straight-up morbid.
1. The brick throws
Nothing says destruction like being smacked in the head multiple times with gravity-defined bricks. Before Harry and Marv even step foot in the NYC apartment of Kevin’s uncle, Kevin stands at the top of the building and hurls bricks that directly hit Marv in the head. Honestly, you can definitely chalk this booby trap up to attempted homicide, because Marv would surely suffer from blunt-force trauma after taking that many bricks to the face.
