Considering the Yuletide season is the most magical time of the year chock-full of warmth and happiness, it might feel completely out-of-place to imagine the genre of horror and its mighty villains. And yet, it’s definitely intriguing to picture exactly what the scariest horror villains would bring to Christmas dinner.
Without a doubt, Christmas dinner is a special occasion that folks look forward to all year long. From delicious trimmings scattered across tables to delectable chocolates hiding within colorful stockings, food during the holiday season is enough to keep any person interested — even the memorable baddies from the spooky cinematic realm.
So with Christmas just a few short days away, let’s celebrate in the most interesting way possible by exploring what 10 of the scariest villains in horror would bring if they were invited to Christmas dinner. After all, we’ve already seen what their Thanksgiving pie counterparts are.
Hannibal Lecter – Wine
Was there ever any actual doubt as to who would bring the wine to Christmas dinner? It would be Dr. Lecter, of course, seeing as he’s just as intelligent and sophisticated as a smooth glass of red wine. Plus, he could probably steal a few cases for the entire party and nobody would ever question a thing, since he’s just a smooth-talker with a genuine smile. He’s a guy you can trust, and everybody can trust the guy that brings a few bottles of wine to the dinner gathering. I’ll take a nice chianti, Doctor.
Pinhead – Lasagna
Come on now, Christmas dinner would feel incredibly empty without at least one pasta dish. So seeing as lasagna is sometimes forgotten for other delectable items, it makes perfect sense for Pinhead to bring it along, considering he’s often forgotten amongst the other horror villains. And yet, we still love Pinhead just as much as we love that first bite into that cheesy, creamy lasagna. And if we had to guess, he probably used the spikes on his head to finely cut the mozzarella cheese.
Jigsaw – Mixed veggies
Seeing as Jigsaw enjoys playing games and mixing different components of life and death together, it wouldn’t come as a huge surprise to see him show up at Christmas dinner with a bowl of mixed veggies. Sure, we’ve got the green bean casserole already on the table, but Jigsaw, as always, offers you a choice to scoop a helping of his veggies too. The choice is always there on the table, but will you choose to try his collection of hearty vegetables?
Chucky – Green bean casserole
Let’s be honest, you either love this dish or loathe it completely — there’s simply no in between. And yet, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that Chucky would somehow make it work. Of course, it helps that he’s fully knowledgeable in voodoo magic, so he’d probably conjure up a spell that would allow his green bean casserole to taste amazing. Just make sure Andy Barclay isn’t at your house for said dinner, and all will be perfect.
Pennywise – Dinner rolls
Seeing as Pennywise is the self-proclaimed “Eater of Children,” there’s no better “dish” to bring to Christmas dinner than the food that all the kids go running for first — delicious, buttery dinner rolls. Not only that, but considering the fact that Pennywise stays hidden every 27 years, jumping out of hibernation and grabbing some dinner rolls requires minimal effort and time. It’s lazy, yes, but it’s the perfect way to gain some trust, and attack just when the time is right.
Freddy Krueger – Fruitcake
We all love Freddy and we all hate fruitcake, so this one is a little tricky — but hear me out. Fruitcake is an acquired taste that must be warmed up to, which is a lot like Freddy in the sense that a plethora of horror fanatics are terrified of him. Nevertheless, fruitcake is unapologetic and is there if you want it, and Freddy is always around and frolicking in your dreams whether you like it or not. Plus, his multi-colored sweater honestly kinda looks like the colors of a fruitcake.
Ghostface – Fudge
It’s hard to imagine a horror community without Ghostface just as much as it’s difficult to imagine a table at Christmas dinner without some delectable fudge. Fudge can sometimes be a nuisance and get stuck in your teeth (in the same vein as Ghostface being a nuisance and killing all your friends), but we still love them both anyway. And, hey, is that blood that’s been wiped on his knife, or just some fudge remnants?
Leatherface – Shrimp cocktail
Without a doubt, seafood is a major component for Christmas dinner in a wide variety of households. And despite Leatherface not having the picture-perfect family, there’s absolutely no denying that he would take great pride in helping with his family’s huge spread of food and uh… humans? Let’s just hope that the red substance on the side is cocktail sauce and not some helpless victim’s blood. Yikes.
Jason Voorhees – Mashed potatoes
With his brute strength and overpowering abilities, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Jason Voorhees mashed up a bunch of potatoes himself with his own bare hands. That’s not exactly the most hygienic method to implement, but who’s seriously going to sit there and tell Jason what to do and how to prepare potatoes? At least he’s even bringing a dish over in the first place — considering how much of a villain he can be. Let’s just hope he leaves his mom at home.
Michael Myers – Ham
Of course the most iconic horror villain of all time would be tasked with bringing the most important part of the Christmas dinner — the juicy, mouth-watering honey ham. Honestly, I wouldn’t even be surprised if Michael stopped along the way to the host’s house and killed the pig himself and served up a delicious leg of pork for all to enjoy. I mean, this is the same guy who chased down his own sister for 40 years, so I wouldn’t put it past him to make sure he secures the most delicious serving of ham.
