Voters will face a truly painful decision this November when they’re asked to choose between Donald Trump, Joe Biden and Kanye West. The musician threw himself into the 2020 race earlier this year, claiming he’d lost confidence in Trump after his response to COVID-19. Though West has missed filing deadlines in 21 key states, he’ll still be on the ballot in Oklahoma and (pending verification) in Arkansas, Colorado, Illinois, Missouri, Ohio, Vermont, West Virginia and Wisconsin.
Now, West has revealed that his running mate will be “biblical life coach” Michelle Tidball. She runs an online bible study program called Abundant Ministries and lives in Cody, Wyoming, where West owns a ranch and has spent a lot of time since 2018. Not much else is known about Tidball, other than the fact that she proudly claims in one of her videos that she doesn’t “watch news.” But hey, being wildly uninformed about what’s going on in the world should mean she’ll fit perfectly into the Kanye West 2020 campaign.
Over the last few weeks, he’s claimed that “Planned Parenthoods have been placed inside cities by white supremacists to do the Devil’s work,” that vaccines are “the mark of the beast,” that every “baby-bearing mother” should receive one million dollars and claimed that “Harriet Tubman never actually freed the slaves, she just had the slaves go work for other white people.”
He’s also explained that he’d like to model his White House on Wakanda from Black Panther, presumably meaning that future challengers for President will face him in single combat atop a waterfall.
“A lot of Africans do not like the movie [Black Panther] and representation of themselves in…Wakanda. But I’m gonna use the framework of Wakanda right now because it’s the best explanation of what our design group is going to feel like in the White House…That is a positive idea: you got Kanye West, one of the most powerful humans—I’m not saying the most because you got a lot of alien-level superpowers and it’s only collectively that we can set it free. Let’s get back to Wakanda . . . like in the movie in Wakanda when the king went to visit that lead scientist to have the shoes wrap around her shoes. Just the amount of innovation that can happen, the amount of innovation in medicine—like big pharma—we are going to work, innovate, together. This is not going to be some Nipsey Hussle being murdered, they’re doing a documentary, we have so many soldiers that die for our freedom, our freedom of information, that there is a cure for AIDS out there, there is going to be a mix of big pharma and holistic.”
All of this came to something of a head at West’s first campaign rally, where he broke down and tearfully explained that his father wanted to abort him, saying that: “There would have been no Kanye West, because my dad was too busy!” He then went on to scream whilst sobbing: “I almost killed my daughter! I almost killed my daughter!”
Furthermore, he’s also been adamant this his campaign is not a publicity stunt to promote his new album and is not a joke. I guess we’ll just have to see about that, though.