America is an absolute mess at the moment, as we navigate an unprecedented political situation and eye a truly uncertain future.
It’s clearly affecting the citizens of this supposedly great nation, but at least a few people are somehow making it through this mess of a year unscathed. Among them is the poster child for the Southern American Chad, who was recently captured on video displaying the most on-point American behavior you’ll ever see outside of Hollywood.
The Chad in question was lucky enough to secure a date with TikTok user @sundayleila, an Australian darling that deserved much better than the douche she was saddled with. In a hilarious video posted to her page, the TikToker provides a tiny glimpse into her “first ever American” date, and quickly turned people everywhere off of American men.
In the clip, a clearly inebriated dudebro starts things off strong by providing an overtly sexist toast to accompany the pair’s drinks. Proudly dedicating the drink to “the boys overseas and the girls on their knees,” brosiff proceeds to chug his beer with true frat boy commitment, even smashing the can on the ground, all the while remaining blissfully unaware that his date is not laughing.
He even misses the cue when she quietly asks “where did you learn that?” and, instead of feeling even an ounce of shame, this man proudly responds with “fu**in’ Texas,” before loudly belching — classy — and inviting his date to “fu**in’ slam that sh*t,” gesturing at her own drink.
It is a truly exhausting video for anyone who’s ever ventured near a fraternity or a Kid Rock concert, as this absolute douche canoe presents a perfect example of what women don’t want in a man. That was by no means lost on @sundayleila, who noted in the caption that her encounter would serve as the “last ever” date she goes on with an American.
Commenters were in full support of this decision, and quite a few are quietly praying that the entire scene was nothing more than a skit. Yankees quickly relieved non-Americans of this lovely fantasy, however, drenching the comment section in clear confirmation that this is exactly what a good chunk of our men look like.
“Imagine how tired we are,” one poor American soul wrote. “Everyone hoping it’s not real but I fear Ik maybe three American boys that don’t fit this profile,” another added.
Our man gave people pretty much everywhere — but particularly in the U.S. of A — secondhand cringe, and left women across the globe ticking “American men” off their list of potential prospects. Living his best life as the human manifestation of birth control, it turns out our Texas tool actually did some good with his little display.
The down South donkey may have soured plenty of people’s views on Texas, but research out of Cambridge University found that the Lone Star state isn’t actually home to the bulk of America’s most unsavory men. That crown goes to New York, which a personality map determined houses the most “neurotic and unfriendly people” our nation has to offer.
Published: Jul 26, 2024 09:37 am