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Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) speaks during a news conference with the House Freedom Caucus on the debt limit negotiations at the U.S. Capitol Building on March 10, 2023 in Washington, DC. Members of the caucus held the news conference to say they would consider voting to raise the debt ceiling in exchange for enacting legislation that would "shrink Washington" and bring government spending back to before 2020 and the Covid-19 Pandemic. (Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)
Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Lauren ‘no one comes to my events’ Boebert is victimizing herself Trump-style and only your money will save her

Spare a little change for this poor Republican?

How many humiliating losses can a single politician take over the course of their career? Over in Colorado, Republican politician Lauren Boebert is doing all she can to find out!

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I don’t know about you, but if I was caught on camera giving a groping a guy in a public theater you’d never see me again, not only would I have to resign from the House of Representatives, but I would also likely never leave my house for the rest of my days. Anyways, that’s just me. Clearly, Boebert is built different, you’ve really got to hand it to her; she’s persistent, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. Some people don’t know when to call it a day, to bow out early and leave with one’s dignity still intact. To be fair, that statement could apply to most Republican politicians right now.

Not only is Lauren’s personal life an embarrassment, but her professional career is too. The Colorado representative just managed to scrape enough votes in 2022 to remain in Congress, but despite switching districts to what was seen as an easy win, Boebert came fifth in a straw poll held recently. It’s safe to say Lauren isn’t the most popular, even amongst her own party. So has she been able to pull back some support in the couple of months since? Take a look at these pictures showing the turnout for her in Adams County and tell me what you think.

Honestly, what did you expect? You can’t polish a turd, but it’s nice to see all five of Boebert’s supporters make the effort to show. Okay, okay, I’m being pretty harsh, apparently there were actually 18 people there in total.

Not done embarrassing herself, Boebert took to X (formerly Twitter) to pin the blame for her recent poor performance on the establishment (of course) before begging for donations to boost her re-election campaign. 

Unfortunately for her, nobody was having any of it, calling Boebert out for generally just being a pretty trash politician.

I know it’s desperate times Lauren, but you can’t expect us to believe it’s the establishment’s fault that you gave a handjob in the theater, or that the establishment made your son break into cars and steal stuff. Why don’t we all just blame the establishment for everything that goes wrong in our lives like Lauren does, that way we can avoid taking responsibility for anything; the establishment stole my house keys, the establishment made me lose my hair, nothing is my fault, it’s all somebody else’s. All this self-victimization is clearly a last-ditch attempt to claw back an election that’s already been lost.


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Author
Image of Jordan Collins
Jordan Collins
Jordan is a freelance writer who has been featured in a number of publications. He has a Masters in Creative Writing and loves telling that to anyone who will listen. Aside from that he often spends time getting lost in films, books and games. He particularly enjoys fantasy from The Legend of Zelda to The Lord of the Rings.