Warning: The article contains massive spoilers for The Flash.
Let me get this out of the way first — I went in planning to dislike The Flash to its very core and failed. But to say I exited the theatre crowning it as the best DC film would be stretching the truth across the multiversal plane. So, let’s go with… confused, because this is one glaringly incomplete film.
I know, the ones who have seen the CGI monstrosity think I am going to simply rant about the CGI. Well, I am, but that eyesore — which I thought hit the peak with Quantumania — barely begins to cover how haphazardly placed the plotline of The Flash is. Just like the spaghetti Michael Keaton’s Batman used to explain time travel (and mock Avengers: Endgame).
Now, The Flash has been in development for more than a decade, has sucked up millions of dollars to wrap up production, and had the crumbling reputation of Warner Bros. and Ezra Miller on the line. While the dodgy visual effects were apparently supposed to look that bad according to director Andy Muschietti — yeah, DC doesn’t even bother to be apologetic about its mistakes anymore — who is planning to come out next to say why the plot, character arc, and the whole past and future of the film follows in the footsteps of its unfinished CGI?
As I said, this conclusion to the Snyderverse is good and Miller’s reprisal of Barry Allen redeems the character (a big chunk of the credit also goes to Christina Hodson for her strong writing, because Miller’s glaringly concerning past does little to uplift the character) and highlighting how grief can drastically change a person, as the original Barry openly resents the young Barry for the life he takes for granted. From being that sidekick who is only a comic relief and at best, frustrating with his goofy smiles, this is a big, big, and exceptionally well-played step up for Barry Allen.
But what about the rest? Why does The Flash feel exceedingly slow as well as infuriatingly rushed, refreshing in places but sticking to errors of the past?
Strong scenes are allowed to lose their value
This is done in favor of triggering laughs like the pivotal moment of Barry getting hit by lightning or George Clooney making an appearance as the new Batman just for the sake of a gag — given the fact that Snyderverse is no more, this pointless twist effectively robs The Flash from establishing a solid future either. Instead of him, it should have been Keaton, which was originally the plan and was ditched for not even God knows what reason.
Then that cringey Lasso of Truth scene from Justice League gets repackaged for the same purpose instead of treating it as a star cameo or to right the wrongs of the past. And while I appreciated Barry’s dual personalities, it was easy to imagine chucking either one (even both) out of the window when the “aww” bordered on overly-demented theatrics and overpowered scenes that could have hit hard if the Barrys took it down a notch or two.
The plot choices — Oh GOD! — the plot choices
Zod’s inclusion feels like nothing but an afterthought added just because someone mused the final product was missing a flashy, badly-produced fight scene that could detract from the stronger, core theme of the film — i.e., Barry learning that there is no changing the past. But it’s not like he actually learns that lesson, nor does the film bother to be bothered by things like the Bootstrap Paradox, the Grandfather Paradox, and a trillion other things that govern time travel. The Flash doesn’t abide by its own rules for time travel, then why should its titular speedster?
While we are on the topic of arcs added in an attempt to spice up a perfectly fine storyline, the decision to kill Keaton’s Batman and Sasha Calle’s Supergirl out of nowhere definitely occupies the top ranks of the list. Don’t even get me started on Supergirl — Calle is an absolute scene stealer, but her character jumps the hoops of logic so fast that I am left reeling. After that poorly stitched CGI fight with the Russians, she switches from hating humanity to wanting to protect it (what on Earth brought about that particular change of heart?) to forgetting it just as quickly when she goes up against Zod. Kara deserved a better character arc, but it was all dumped in favor of her rage and ultimate “inevitable” death.
As for the presence of Kiersey Clemons’ Iris West, it is more of the regressive Hollywood trope where a superhero is got to have a love interest who barely gets to do anything other than be the damsel in distress or be the cog in the machine that gets the protagonist’s brain working, which is all the character does in The Flash.
And can someone explain why Barry is not concerned to find out who killed his mother in the first place? Fine, he learns he can’t change the past, but he could have surely sneaked a peek at who drove that knife into Nora Allen’s heart so he can avenge her later, in the present. He is like I was with my school assignments — either get too engrossed to the point that everything else in my life is at a standstill, or do nothing and leave it all up to fate.
No one also bothers to explain how Keaton’s Batman knows so much about time travel. But we can chalk that up to there being nothing under the sun the world’s best detective doesn’t know about. Sadly, this self-cooked explanation can’t be applied to every facet of The Flash that feels brashly aborted, especially the CGI — you know this was coming, so there is no point in rolling your eyes.
Thanks to one crazy traffic jam, I missed the first 25 minutes of The Flash, but stepped in the very moment Barry was putting a baby in a microwave. Funny, scary, bonkers — any and every sentiment it induced paled in comparison to how plastic the babies looked. And that is the state of almost every scene of the very CGI-reliant film. When Barry is running, when he is traveling back in time, riffling through the different past scenarios, etc, the lifeless visual effects kill the impact of the moments. But yeah, bringing back Christopher Reeve, George Reeves, Adam West, and more, and that too via such an abhorrent CGI application — I am offended and insulted on their behalf, WB.
Sadly, while Barry manages to find food even as he is in mid-air and saving very questionable, Chucky-looking babies, The Flash is stranded — it relies too much on the charms of the multiverse and the done-to-death magic of starry cameos.
