Some might consider the sheer existence of Marjorie Taylor Greene, and her interminable refusal to go away and leave us in peace, as proof that God does not exist. Or at least, if he does, that He’s not a merciful God.
Maybe, just maybe, though, the latest verbal diarrhea spewed by MTG on X allows us to finally understand the divine plan that’s been in the works for Marj all along. It’s possible that she is just the latest in a line of great prophets of the modern age. First, there was Bruce Almighty, then there was Evan Almighty. Now we have… Marjorie Almighty.
What do the shocking earthquake that hit NYC on April 5 and the eclipse occurring on April 8 have in common? Nothing at all, but to Marjorie “I Believe in Jewish Space Lasers” Taylor Greene, the combination of these two random happenstances in the same weekend is a sign from God that the United States is facing a proper Old Testament apocalypse unless the American people “repent” their sins.
“God is sending America strong signs to tell us to repent. Earthquakes and eclipses and many more things to come,” warned Marjorie, like a MAGA version of Moses. “I pray that our country listens.”
Although MTG didn’t attach a selfie to the tweet, we can safely assume she was wearing a “THE END IS NIGH” sandwich board at the time of writing.
She doesn’t come out and say it, then, but it sure seems Marj is heavily implying that unless Donald Trump is elected this November, then God Himself will rain down his righteous fury upon the Land of the Free. Unfortunately, like fellow holy soothsayer Steve Carrell before her, who warned that the Earth was due for another flood and the world mocked him (see poignant documentary Evan Almighty for more), it seems MTG’s warning is destined to go unheeded by the heretical world we live in.
One response had an alternate explanation for the two incidents, which manages to combine many of the prior, erm, teachings of the Great Prophet Marjorie into one. “It was the Jewish Space Lasers being controlled by the Gazpacho Police targeting the Peach Tree dishes on Capitol Hill,” @SundaeDivine replied.
Of course, if Marjorie wants to play the “bad things happening during someone’s presidency means God hates them” card, then she really should’ve thought it through. As another commenter pointed out, “Remind me who the president was when we were met with a once in a lifetime global pandemic.”
We’re not claiming that Joe Biden is God’s favorite president ever, but going by Marjorie’s logic, then Trump probably ranks right at the bottom on the Creator’s “Worst Humans I’ve Ever Created” listicle — right down there with Pontius Pilate and Judas Iscariot. Maybe the real reason for the earthquake was God throwing a hissy-fit because of Trump’s MAGA bibles?
