Donald Trump, a man who stares at the sun during solar eclipses, says Taylor Swift should be loyal to him

Never underestimate Donald Trump‘s ability to make any story about him. The biggest story of the moment is last night’s Super Bowl, which saw the fairytale romance of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce ascend to ludicrously cinematic heights as his team squeaked out a last-minute overtime win. Swift dashed from the stands to embrace her victorious boyfriend, with the pair sharing a joyful kiss as confetti rained around them and cameras flashed.

But as the game got underway, deep in Mar-a-Lago a grumpy former President realized that the news was briefly talking about someone who wasn’t him and decided to rectify that. After all, where would Swift be now if it wasn’t for the beneficence and support of one Donald J. Trump? Probably flipping burgers!

If there’s credit to be had, Trump’s gonna Trump:

First up, of all the many shades of Trump, his “catty media queen” persona is absolutely the funniest and we wish he’d stick to bitchy comments about celebrities rather than politics. And, at least this instance, he’s not lying that the Music Modernization Act boosted Swift’s earnings. In a nutshell the MMA reforms copyright and royalty laws for the streaming era and, as Spotify’s most streamed artist of 2023 Swift will have seen her fortune grow.

So, should she bend the knee to Trump and admit that his diligent and painstaking work on copyright reform has benefited her career? Pfft. Yeah right. Dina LaPolt, one of the attorneys involved in creating the MMA bill said Trump claiming credit for it is “funny”. Speaking to Variety, she said:

“Trump did nothing on our legislation except sign it, and doesn’t even know what the Music Modernization Act does. Someone should ask him what the bill actually accomplished.”

Judging by her previous comments Swift is more likely to abandon her music career and take up a job crab fishing in the notoriously dangerous North Sea than aligning herself in any way with Trump. But for a while Swift going Republican seemed possible. For much of her career, Swift played her political cards very close to her chest, leading many on the right to theorize the former country star was a secret Trump supporter.

That proved to be wishful thinking and in 2020 Swift made a rare political comment calling out Trump’s hypocrisy:

Later that year she continued the theme, accusing him of trying to preemptively rig the 2020 election:

Swift endorsed Biden in 2020 and is widely expected to do so in 2024. This is a big deal, as Newsweek has released a poll saying a massive eighteen percent of voters would be more likely to vote for a Swift-approved candidate.

Trump knows that he won’t get the coveted Swift endorsement, so the only weapon he has left to use is to make her look like a disloyal hypocrite and to demand allegiance in the manner of a small-time mobster. But while he’s snippily posting on social media, she’s making out with her beloved Super Bowl beau as the world cheers.

But hey, let’s look beyond the upcoming battle of the senile old men and towards the future. Taylor Swift is rapidly becoming a political force to reckon with and commands the respect and adoration of millions of Americans. Can anyone say… President Swift?