Don’t panic, but nearly 250K people have already signed a petition to sell California to Denmark

Denmark is responding to President Donald Trump‘s threats in gloriously petty fashion, as the country sets its sights on U.S. territory.

For weeks now, Trump has been threatening Greenland — a territory of the Kingdom of Denmark — with United States seizure, and it seems the country has had enough. It’s pushing back on Trump’s conquistador energy with impeccable style, as it targets one of the biggest U.S. states. The kicker? California is more than on board.

It took no time for Trump to spiral into actual mania following his occupation of the Oval Office, and the early weeks of his second term have been defined by truly insane decisions. Rather than deal with rising inflation, joblessness, gun violence, or any of the other very real issues plaguing Americans, Trump is trying to seize Greenland, — and give it a Kindergarten student’s idea of a new name — hand control of the country over to an unelected, unwanted billionaire, and rename the Gulf of Mexico in a strange, vapid vanity project.

Since he’s so dead-set on acquiring Greenland — a territory the U.S. has absolutely no right to, by the way — it seems Denmark’s citizens are more than willing to play Trump’s game. So they’re responding in kind, and a petition to “help Denmark buy California” already has more than a quarter-million signatures.

The petition is halfway to its 500,000 signature goal, and it’s likely it will topple the benchmark within a few days. This also isn’t just some tossed-together ploy to irk DJT — the petition genuinely lays out some stellar reasons why California may want to become another Danish province.

Cheekily inviting people to sign with its opening, the petition ponders if anyone has “ever looked at a map and thought, “You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates.” Well, we have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality. Let’s buy California from Donald Trump!”

Deeper on the petition’s page, it outlines why California is its chosen target. Reasons include all that sunshine — Denmark isn’t known for its cloudless conditions — California’s tech dominance, and, of course, “to protect the free world.” The page even has fake reviews promoting the plan — including a very positive message from not-Viggo Mortensen.

Then it digs into why Trump might consider sale of California to Denmark. As the petition accurately notes, “Trump isn’t exactly California’s biggest fan.” And if the country really does throw in “a lifetime supply of Danish pastries to sweeten the deal,” chances of a sale are actually quite realistic.

That’s where the “Tremendous Plan” comes in. Denmark proposes that it needs to meet a crowdfunding goal of $1 trillion (give or take a few billion), which it seems confident it can manage, particularly with the “bestest negotiators” at the helm. If those negotiators can pull it off, Denmark promises that “Danish Values” will soon become Californian values. “We’ll bring hygge to Hollywood, bike lanes to Beverly Hills, and organic smørrebrød to every street corner.”

Californians, for their part, couldn’t be more on board with the plan. Social media reactions to the petition are near-universally positive, and see quite a few Golden State citizens offering up their state free of charge — all for a chance to ditch Donald Trump’s America.

Californian here. I have a counter offer for you Denmark… You can have us for free. We'll even bring you a $322.3 billion dollar balanced budget without a deficit to sweeten the deal. https://t.co/Gz0J9KRIHd

— She_Persisted 🇺🇦 (@Impeach_Cheeto) February 12, 2025

Californian here. Honestly, Denmark: you guys don’t have to pay. We’ll go willingly. 🇩🇰 https://t.co/0ZHQu1ojBx

— Trinity Votes 🇮🇱🇺🇦 (@TrinityMustache) February 10, 2025

As a Californian, I don't mind if our state ends up being in a bidding war between Denmark and Canada. pic.twitter.com/RTSfqC4AfU

— Charlie Rengel (@Charles_Rengel) February 11, 2025

And let’s not forget the final promised perk, as outlined by the petition: “Rule of law, universal health care and fact based politics might apply.” That sure sounds like an upgrade to me.