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Ted Cruz
Photo by Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

‘How is he still a senator?!’: Ted Cruz flails around like an air-drowned fish when questioned about election result integrity

"Has there ever been a more unlikeable, hideous, pompous, self absorbed, lying jellyfish spine in the history of America?"

As Americans stare down the barrel of a Donald Trump shaped gun, hints toward how the looming election may go are coming in, courtesy of his fellow floundering fools on the far-right.

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Fools like sniveling worm Ted Cruz, who might just lose his iron-tight grip on Texas on Nov. 5. The shame-secreting Senator has been on a slow spiral over the last few months, as he works overtime to twist his lies and spineless shilling into something that resembles actual work. It takes a lot of effort for someone like Cruz to look anything other than useless, and he’s putting in overtime as the election inches closer.

Unfortunately for the pompous prick currently serving as Texas’ junior Senator, things aren’t going great this go around. He’s managed to maintain power for an excruciating decade, tormenting the people of Texas with his brazen incompetence, but his chances at another term get slimmer by the day. As he faces down the very real possibility of a Colin Allred victory, Cruz is starting to squirm, and it’s a glorious sight to behold.

Among the most eye-opening interviews in recent months was served up by CNN over the weekend, when Cruz joined the news network for an interview. The Texas politician no doubt had big plans to spin and slither his way into some good optics, in hopes of snatching up a few extra votes this Tuesday, but he ended up melting down for the world to see instead.

By departing the safe, cozy confines of Fox News and venturing out to speak with actual journalists, Cruz put himself at risk, and he was not prepared for the consequences. When the greasy toad faced up against Kaitlan Collins on The Source, he quickly buckled in response to actual pushback. Those typical non-answers didn’t serve him nearly as well as usual, and there’s not a single viewer who failed to notice.

The question that dominates a rapidly-spreading seven minute clip relates to the impending election, and Cruz’ refusal to certify the fair and free 2020 election. Collins asked the Senator if he plans “to object” to the 2024 election as well, and plainly asked “will you accept the results regardless of who wins the election?”

Cruz responded to the straightforward query with the absurd claim that it was “ridiculous,” and all because he’s too much of a mewling coward to do the job he was elected to perform. According to Cruz, its not a “yes or no” question, because what if Daddy Trump says the election was rigged? Cruz’s entire reasoning, garbled as it is through his attempts to warp the narrative, is that he won’t promise to certify the results without knowing whether or not there was interference. While he is technically right that some degree of interference is present in all elections, it is not enough to change the results. It never has been, and it never will be, with the rampant protections already in place.

Despite this fact, Cruz spends an agonizing seven minutes trying to convince Collins — and audience members — otherwise. He twists the journalist’s words to try and make himself sound better, he drools over the idea of another Trump term, and he twines himself into knots trying to paint Daddy Trump as a victim of the big mean press who do nasty things like fact-check.

Its a vile display of spineless skullduggery from the king of political worms, and it genuinely upset my stomach to watch. If it weren’t for Collins’ impeccable handling of the interview — during which she frequently pushed back on those inane, false claims — the interview would have been impossible to watch, but as it stands its actually a breath of fresh air. Cruz’s clear panic, in the face of mounting dissent, is practically palpable, and it’s a balm on this terrified American’s soul.

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Author
Image of Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila carefully obsesses over all things geekdom and gaming, bringing her embarrassingly expansive expertise to the team at We Got This Covered. She is a Staff Writer and occasional Editor with a focus on comics, video games, and most importantly 'Lord of the Rings,' putting her Bachelors from the University of Texas at Austin to good use. Her work has been featured alongside the greats at NPR, the Daily Dot, and Nautilus Magazine.