Donald Trump has only been in office for a few days, but those scant hours couldn’t feel heavier. His supporters, his campaigning, and Trump himself repeatedly promised that Project 2025 was never going to be this administration’s agenda, yet here we are, 200 executive orders into the Handmaid’s Handbook.
Among the mind-boggling number of EOs are several that would almost be funny if they didn’t come with repercussions like claiming certain minority groups don’t exist or turning back the clock on civil rights. But for the next 90 days, all Americans are being temporarily classified as female, so at least we’ve got that going for us (yaas!). Caitlyn Jenner ⏤ perhaps the most well-known trans woman in the world ⏤ couldn’t care less about her now-forcibly male status, by the way. With her wealth and privilege, she can probably pay almost anyone to respect her right to exist, but we’re guessing her wealthy buddies view her as “one of the good ones” anyway.
In addition to setting the blocks for his fascist foundation, one of the Copper Conman’s first orders of business was to pardon 1500 January 6ers. And would you believe it, not a single one was a part of Antifa or the BLM? The Qanon Shaman was one of the lucky thousand released, and you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s going to use his new freedom to turn over a new leaf. Just kidding! He’s doing exactly what you’d expect a brain-dead moron to do post-imprisonment, and hopefully it will land him right back in the slammer.
Joe Biden spent his last few hours in office doing the exact same thing, except his pardons were aimed at his family members. It was a good call, considering Trump’s cronies are no longer trying to hide their unscrupulous connections. No matter how many Elon Musk stans crawl out of the woodwork blaming his clear Nazi salute on “autism,” we all know what that gesture means — except those who work for the ADL, that is. Oh, and Trump made an unfortunate flub connecting Musk to voter fraud in Pennsylvania, potentially implicating the tech mogul in an operation to flip votes.
There is one bright spot in the doom and gloom that is 2025 in America: George W. Bush and Barack Obama’s presidential friendship. The only thing that could make their inauguration moment more precious would be a Bush painting of it. Welcome to another week in the life, folks. It’s beginning to look a lot like Gilead.
We may know what Obama said to Bush at the inauguration, and it couldn’t be more relatable
In case you missed the biggest takeaway from Jimmy Carter’s funeral, Barack Obama and George W. Bush are the bipartisan besties we didn’t know we needed. Luckily for the Prez Pals, Trump’s inauguration gave them another chance to hang out, with one notable moment caught on camera once again showing them sharing a private joke.
Sadly, the rest of the world wasn’t privvy to whatever quip Barack made to Bush, but new insights might give us a better idea of what he said. A deaf TikToker put her lip-reading skills to good use when she offered her expert translation of what the bromancing POTUSes were whispering about. The quip that got such a laugh from Bush? Obama may have sarcastically asked, “How can we stop this from happening?“
We didn’t need any more reasons to miss Obama, but we got one nonetheless. At an event that was so devastating for millions of Americans, and at a time when the population has become so polarized, it’s heartening that two very different men such as Obama and Bush can find common ground and genuine camaraderie thanks to one shared opinion: their mutual unmitigated disgust for the mango man.
The Qanon Shaman, fresh off a pardon, screeches his continued instability for the world to hear
If you ever looked around and thought to yourself, “Gee, I wish there were more people who make terrible decisions wandering around,” Trump has got you covered. Following through on his promise to hand out pardons like candy, Trump doled out 1,500 of them to those convicted of January 6 crimes, and his followers could not be happier. Among the pardoned was none other than the Qanon Shaman, a man famous for painting his face and wearing animal skins on his head while parading shirtless around Capitol Hill. (Somewhere out there, Marjorie Taylor Greene just felt a giddy little shiver run up whatever’s left of her spine.)
Jacob Chansley’s extreme case of main character syndrome hasn’t taken a hit while behind bars, despite his mournful statements declaring, “Men of honor admit when they’re wrong.” Now that he’s free, Chansley is using his god-given right to scream on social media incredibly seriously, taking to X to announce his intention to buy some “MOTHA FU*KIN GUNS.” Belaying any sense of normalcy, Chansley then jumped right off the deep end, adding, “J6ers are getting released & JUSTICE HAS COME… EVERYTHING done in the dark will come to light!”
Clearly Trump made the best decision when he decided to pardon these well-adjusted members of society — unlike Biden’s own pardons made hours before he left office on Monday. In what some people likened to the Titanic’s captain dishing out a life raft for his own family while leaving the rest of us to drown, Biden preemptively pardoned his family members for any nonviolent crimes committed during his last year in office. He didn’t stop there, however. He pardoned anyone he felt the Trump administration might go after, an expansive list that encompassed members of Congress, Dr. Anthony Fauci, and General Mark Milley.
There’s no doubt that Hunter Biden was targeted because of his familial connections, and Biden stated that his pardons were made under “exceptional circumstances” and that he could not “in good conscience do nothing” as retaliation loomed over them.
To get the rest of the political tea, which this week includes Trump’s Pennsylvania slip-up, Musk’s Nazi salute, and an accidental feminist flub, be sure to sign up for
WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.
Published: Jan 23, 2025 04:54 pm