‘Very low IQ cabinet’: Harvard purportedly returns Trump team’s threat letter with embarrassing corrections

Education Secretary Linda McMahon has apparently managed to send a threatening letter to Harvard University that reads like it was composed by a middle schooler.

This week, McMahon—yes, the former WWE executive whose primary educational qualification appears to be watching people get hit with folding chairs—fired off what was meant to be a stern warning to Harvard University’s President Dr. Alan Garber. The letter threatened to withhold federal funding unless the prestigious institution bent to the administration’s demands. What followed was nothing short of linguistic carnage.

Critics purportedly mocked the letter’s tone, its amateurish construction, and its apparent failure to make a persuasive argument. Even Harvard—purportedly not one to engage in petty battles—allegedly couldn’t resist marking up the letter like an overachieving TA correcting a poorly written term paper.

According to reports, the letter purportedly accused Harvard of violating federal laws, failing to uphold American values, and allowing pro-Palestinian demonstrations to create what was described as a hostile environment on campus. McMahon purportedly railed against Harvard’s admissions policies, immigration practices, and even its supposed teaching of remedial math.

The letter reportedly used “systemic” where it likely meant “systematic,” capitalized random words like “Federal Government,” and included rhetorical questions like, “Where do many of these ‘students’ come from, who are they, how do they get into Harvard, or even into our country—and why is there so much HATE?”

Social media posts showed images of the letter marked up in red ink, with Harvard noting everything from run-on sentences to inconsistent verb tenses. If true, this would be the equivalent of a chef sending back a poorly cooked steak with a handwritten recipe for how to do it better.

For his part, Harvard President Garber has reportedly shown no intention of capitulating. The university has filed a lawsuit challenging the funding freeze, characterizing the government’s demands as “sweeping and intrusive.” This legal battle could set significant precedents regarding governmental authority over educational institutions, regardless of which side prevails.

Whether you view Harvard as an elitist bastion of privilege or as a beacon of academic excellence, there’s something deeply troubling about a government that threatens educational funding while seemingly unable to compose a coherent letter explaining why. In the battle between Harvard and the Trump, the first casualty appears to have been the English language itself.