‘The U.K. doesn’t mess around when it comes to Paddington’: 2 men arrested for committing British blasphemy

The U.K. is at Defcon 5 after it was reported that beloved icon and national treasure, Paddington had been kidnapped (bear-napped?) from a local bench. What has this country come to?

Okay, so it’s not the real Paddington (obviously) but rather a statue of the recognizable bear sitting on a bench, helping himself to a marmalade sandwich. You can find him located on Northbrook Street in Newbury, or at least you could, before this national tragedy occurred. Obviously the British public are up in arms over the whole ordeal and I must warn you, the bench where old Paddington was once seated is not a pretty sight.

A Paddington Bear statue was damaged and stolen in the UK.

2 men have now been arrested for the crime.

(Source: https://t.co/AAwKr7UpS2) pic.twitter.com/nupLUAjfRf

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) March 3, 2025

They cut the poor bear in half! 

Society as a whole has always been incredibly protective of the innocent bear, so the sight of a bisected Paddington is incredibly upsetting and the last thing anyone wants to see on a Monday morning – the world is depressing enough as it is! The pure gall of these criminals! Who could do such a thing?

Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that those responsible for doing this to the beloved bear have been apprehended, and they will no doubt face the full force of the British justice system. According to an article from BBC News, two suspects were arrested and Paddington was recovered. Phew! 

The two kidnappers performed the devious crime around 2:00 AM on Sunday morning, and their motives for doing so are, as of yet, undetermined. Anyways, they’ll soon find out that there are serious consequences for messing with a figure as revered and wholesome as Paddington.

The UK doesn’t mess around when it comes to Paddington Bear huh?

— Will (@wllottnwldr) March 3, 2025

Too right, mess with the bear, you get the claws. But what is a suitable punishment for such a heinous crime? Life sentences? Guillotine? Death by marmalade? All good options and the good people on X had a few suggestions too.

death penalty

— pierbi (@pierbiwierbi) March 3, 2025

Others joked about what life would be like for the two criminals behind bars.

"What are you in for?" *in British accent* "I stole Paddington."

— The Powell Bros. (@ThePowellBrosMR) March 3, 2025

The Paddington statue meant a lot to the locals

The exaggerated outrage might be a bit of fun, but in all seriousness, the adorable statue had a lot of sentimental value to the locals. It was unveiled in October of last year in the hometown of the character’s creator, Michael Bond. Bond was responsible for the original children’s books featuring the marmalade-loving bear and his adventures, with the first one being published in 1958. 

Since then, the character has appeared in numerous forms across all sorts of media. More recently, the character saw some love from Hollywood, with a big screen live-action adaptation in 2014. The third film in the franchise, Paddington in Peru, hit U.S. theaters last month, proving there is still a lot of love for the character almost 70 years after his debut.