What’s the safest, most nonthreatening activity you could think of to take your young child to? It’s got to be a Disney On Ice show, right? Park your kid by the side of the rink to watch some underpaid, over-perspiring performers twirl around dressed in Disneyland handmedowns while you get to sit back and turn your brain off for a couple hours.
Something you wouldn’t expect to happen at one of these shows is for the numero uno most traumatic event in the entire Disney canon to play out in real-time, and for your kid to find himself cast as the protagonist. This hysterical TikTok video shows the unexpected dangerous side of Disney on Ice, as one unsuspecting young boy gets pursued and pounced on by a giant plush Pumbaa.
In the clip, the overexcited kid gets out of his seat to grab a closer look at the likes of Goofy, Genie, and other beloved characters getting their Tonya Harding on. Little does he know, though, that there are wild animals amongst them. In a chilling shot straight out of a Halloween movie, Pumbaa immediately singles out the kid and makes a beeline for him, leaning right over the edge of the rink and invading the child’s personal space until the boy backs away into his seat in abject terror.
The whole ordeal only lasted eight seconds, but you know that he’s going to remember this traumatic memory forever.
Let’s hope the people that make those knockoff Disney slasher films aren’t watching, as they’re bound to get an idea for a new movie after seeing this. Pumbaa’s unmoving felt face, the wide, gaping warthog mouth that threatens to swallow the boy up, the total silence in place of the sidekick’s signature goofy, grating voice… If you put yourself in the boy’s shoes, the sight suddenly becomes less rib-tickling and more deeply, decades-of-therapy-causing, disturbing.
The next time this boy watches The Lion King, he may realize he knows exactly how Simba feels when the wildebeest come stampeding towards him in the gorge. Someone please re-edit this with Hans Zimmer’s nerve-twanging score as the sound. Although, are we sure Pumbaa is a lone operator here? Maybe there’s an evil Scar skater somewhere in the throng who kicked the warthog in the behind.
Those in the comments are all agreed that Kid Simba is going to remember this for the rest of his life. “Core memory for this kid,” one quipped. Others think he got the best experience in the house: “4D experience,” said another. Others are debating whether Pumbaa meant to do this or if it was an accident. Most seem to agree that the performer was likely trying to scare the kid into staying in his seat, lest he get too close to the rink and hurt himself. Pumbaa might have protected the boy’s physical health, then, but at the cost of his mental health.
There’s a lot of discussion these days regarding whether Disney movies are good or bad for your kids. Child psychologist Dr. Cara Goodwin wrote an in-depth essay in which she broke down many of the reasons parents may want to resist sticking their tots in front of Disney Plus all day, ranging from the outdated gender roles to the problematic black-and-white morality. If you want to cure your kid of wanting to watch Disney films, maybe just take them to a Disney on Ice show and sicc Pumbaa on them. In the meantime, look out for r-rated horror Timon & Pumbaa & Pain, coming to theaters never.
Published: Oct 24, 2024 02:04 pm