‘High maintenance’ mom has her first encounter with the New York subway. Then TikTok calls her ‘Nightmare mother-in-law’

A video featuring a Lebanese mother’s first experience with the New York City subway has racked up over 40.9 million views on TikTok. The creator, hayatandoko, shared a series of clips with an in-video caption stating, “editing my high maintenance mom’s first subway experience like it’s a horror movie.” It documents her mother, Hoda, as she navigated the transit system with visible trepidation. The post caption simply noted, “i can’t even make this up.”

The footage captures Hoda first approaching the turnstile with hesitation, clearly unsure of the process until a helpful stranger steps in. As the clips progress, Hoda is seen clinging tightly to her husband, bracing herself against his leg while seated, and carefully placing a paper down on the subway seat before sitting. 

Each moment is punctuated by dramatic zooms that emphasize her nervous expressions, especially when the train pulls into the station. At one point, as they scramble to board the train, the doors begin to close. In a panic, she pulls at him until the doors reopen and they both safely scramble inside.

TikTok couldn’t get enough of Hoda

Public reaction to the video has been a mixed bag of amusement and criticism. Some viewers found the situation relatable, like Haylie Holstien Lane, who commented, “Well I thought it was funny. My mom would act like this simply because of the germs.” Others noted, “The way she’s grabbing his arm is legendary.” 

On the flip side, there were plenty of critics who labeled the display as elitist or embarrassing. One user, Maria W, called her a “Nightmare mother-in-law,” while another user wrote, “This is next levels of elitism and it’s pissing me off.” One of the few people in the middle of the two sides characterized Hoda as “if “clutching my pearls” was a person.”

A few days later, hayatandoko posted a follow-up video to address the backlash and the many questions that popped up in the comments section. In the clip, Hoda introduces herself as a 45-year-old mother of six from Lebanon who was visiting her daughter in New York. 

She explained that her fear stemmed from what she had seen on social media and in movies, combined with her struggle with OCD. “I’m scared of some germs, maybe some people will understand me,” Hoda explained. She added that “Even though I looked scared in the video, it was a nice experience.” She then shared that they ended up riding the subway two more times after the initial trip. 

Frankly, if you consider some experiences other TikTokers have had on the subway, it isn’t surprising that Hoda was so nervous. Two tourists visiting New York were separated within minutes when the subway door shut. Another TikToker managed to capture a rat crawling over a sleeping guy.

Then hayatandoko asked her a question, “Okay mom, what do you want to say to all your haters in the comments?” Hoda just smiled and answered in Arabic, stating, “I wouldn’t tell them anything. Actually, the comment usually reflects the character of the commenter, whether positive or negative. So, I wouldn’t tell them anything. At the end of the day, I can’t please everybody.”

According to WebMD, travel anxiety is a very real phenomenon, defined as the fear of visiting an unfamiliar place. It can involve stress related to planning or the sheer discomfort of being outside one’s comfort zone. Even individuals without a history of anxiety can find themselves in a panic mode when faced with new environments. 

WebMD notes that there is no single cause for this anxiety. It can be triggered by bad past experiences, fears of public places, or even just the stress of navigating an unfamiliar transit system.

Managing such anxiety includes identifying personal triggers, planning well, and practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindful meditation. WebMD also advises bringing along distractions, such as music or books to help keep the mind off stressful elements. For those who find travel consistently difficult, professional guidance from a therapist or doctor is often recommended to help ease symptoms.

In the case of Hoda, the response to the follow-up video was very supportive of her moment of anxiety. User Maybe claire-marie commented, “Auntie you don’t have to explain yourself. You’re an icon. Don’t listen to the haters,” while Maryam Abduljaleel added, “when elegance is speaking we listen.”