Here’s the thing about the human condition that so few of us take the proper time to appreciate: our ability to distill pure chaos into something tangible is absolutely, positively unmatched. Indeed, it may be our individual spontaneity that drives so many random acts of bulls***, but the form that bulls*** takes depends entirely on the person who’s manifesting it.
All this to say, we cannot conceivably grasp why Stace from TikTok‘s @lifewithstaceandty would pull a prank as benignly nonsensical as the one below. All we can do is appreciate the impossibly quirky humanity of it.
As relayed in the two-and-a-half minute video above, Stace was hit with the sudden urge to snag a fried chicken sandwich from KFC, take it home, and then repurpose it as a pseudo-fancy feast for her partner Ty. Ty, you see, is on a diet, and tonight is his designated night off from said diet, meaning he can eat whatever he wants (he’s of course allowed to eat whatever food he wants judicially speaking; this is just in the context of the diet he’s chosen).
The result is a swath of tiny, crispy chicken strips laid out on some mashed potatoes (which actually are homemade) along with the iota of veggies that come on the sandwich and the crushed-up tortilla chip that once contributed to the sandwich’s crunch. But then it came time to see if Ty would figure out Stace’s ruse before she told him what it was. He clearly has a few suspicions, noting that it “tastes like something,” but Stace eventually relents and tells him that it’s homemade KFC. Ty calls poppycock on her claim because “no one knows the 11 herbs and spices,” which is of course the point in the video where we all fall out of our chairs.
Now, Stace’s selection of KFC as the supplier of Ty’s surprise cheat meal was likely a tactical one. After all, if you’re allowed to eat as unhealthily as you want on your cheat day, you might as well go all in and find a sandwich that drops an atomic bomb on your arteries. And a Double Tender Sandwich straight from the catacombs of Colonel Sanders will do just that. According to Fast Food Nutrition, the KFC Double Tender Sandwich boasts a whopping 1051mg of sodium, 57mg of cholesterol, and 2.8g of saturated fat. The whole thing packs 470 calories, over half which are derived from the fat content.
We’re just left wondering how far Stace’s fast food flipping skills go. If she can make an impressively presentable dish out of a KFC Double Tender Sandwich, imagine what she’d be able to do with a Double Baconator from Wendy’s, or a Triple Big Mac meal from McDonald’s, or a Cantina Chicken Burrito from Taco Bell. The market is there, Stace. Seize it!
Published: Sep 11, 2024 02:55 pm