‘Where there is trauma’: Award-winning author was no contact with family, then her mother took to Goodreads to tear her and the book apart

Kelly Aiello, a Canadian author known as KJ Aiello, recently took to Instagram to share a deeply personal struggle involving her mother, from whom she has been estranged for 14 years. Aiello, the author of the award-winning book The Monster in the Mirror, Mental Illness, Magic, and the Stories We Tell, found herself processing an alleged attack from her mother on the literary platform Goodreads. The situation is particularly striking because of Aiello’s work. 

She described her book as a blended genre of memoir and cultural critique that explores how fantasy literature helped her process trauma. As Aiello noted in her post, “So of course, where there’s trauma, there’s usually family.” She explained her version of the story: that she had been “very generous with her family of origin,” attempting to understand their perspectives to find a sense of compassion. Then, her mother breached the boundary with a one-star review.

In the review, which has since been removed following community reporting, her mother allegedly attempted to undermine the credibility of the book. Aiello shared a screenshot that she attributed to her mother. The reviewer wrote, “After two years it’s interesting no one bothers to ask if the author is telling the truth, or if their narrative of their personal life is based on fact, or part of their mental illness and delusion.” 

Aiello decided to face it rather than run

It should be noted that we can’t confirm that this is the mother’s post, nor do we have her mother’s version of the story. According to the screenshot, the review further claimed, “As the author’s mother, I can assure you there are elements which are, in fact, based on actual events, outbursts of violent behaviour, self-harm, and the like.”

For Aiello, this was not just a negative review; she described it as a personal attack and a thinly veiled threat. In another case, a TikToker shared that after being no contact with her mother, the latter planned to sabotage her wedding.

In the video, she addressed her mother directly, stating, “I want you to know that you can’t scare me. I want you to know that a long time ago, your words stopped having any effect on me.” She expressed her frustration over the platform’s lack of responsiveness, noting that she tried to get the post taken down, but it felt like dealing with an entity rather than a human.

The decision to go no-contact is often a last resort for those dealing with toxic family dynamics. According to the Cleveland Clinic, going no-contact sets the ultimate boundary to protect yourself when a family member is unable or unwilling to change abusive or toxic behavior. 

Psychologist Chivonna Childs, PhD, notes that this process can provide mental clarity and empowerment, but carries the risk of retaliation. Dr. Childs explains in the article that toxic people may not always respect the boundaries set by estrangement, and she advises that individuals keep records of unwanted contact, in case a legal step like a restraining order is needed.  Interestingly, in one case, a Redditor’s wife ignored his boundaries to invite his estranged sibling for dinner.

The support Aiello received from her followers and readers was immediate and fierce. Many claimed that the reported behavior only served to validate the experiences shared in her book. 

One user wrote, “I am so sorry that she found this, and her online response to the book proves your experience is the truth, a million times over.” Another commenter noted, “Oh, we all know an immature, abusive, narcissistic parent when we see one. This is classic Deny Attack and Reverse Victim and Offender.”

Aiello spoke about the self-care she partook in for healing. She stated that she spent years in therapy and cultivated a chosen family that provides the stability she allegedly lacked growing up. She asked her mother, “You say that I am your deepest sorrow and regret. Here’s my suggestion to you. If I’m your deepest sorrow and regret, forget about me. Why do you think about me? Why can’t you just forget that I exist?” 

Aiello gave her mother a suggestion. “You don’t deserve to think about me. You don’t deserve to say my name. You don’t deserve to have any claim on my life. You lost that a long time ago.” Shortly after the post went live, Aiello updated her followers in the comments, stating, “Update! Y’all got the comment taken down! Thank you, thank you!”

Cleveland Clinic notes that the emotional labor of dealing with public intrusion remains a reality for many who have chosen to break toxic cycles. The Clinic notes that ending relationships with toxic family members is a journey toward healing, reflecting, and ultimately rebuilding one’s life on one’s own terms.