Woman asks server to do the Texas Roadhouse birthday thing as a surprise. 5 mins later, they are shocked as she comes back asking for consent: ‘like wym’

Florida Resident, Olivia Daquisto, shared a clip on TikTok a few months ago that quickly racked up 1.5 million views. In the process, it kicked up a debate in the community about boundaries and social anxiety associated with being the center of attention. Interestingly, all she attempted to do was orchestrate a birthday surprise for her partner at Texas Roadhouse. 

In her post, the TikToker laid out the scenario for her audience through the onscreen text. She wrote, “Just asked my server to do the Texas roadhouse birthday thing as a surprise and she came up 5 mins later and asked him for CONSENT.” Olivia captioned the post, “like wym (sorry if u see this).” The actual video itself is just her and her partner reacting to the situation with disappointed looks.

Now, there are two things to consider here. One is that this is purely Olivia’s perspective, and there is no way to confirm if the server did in fact ask for consent. Secondly, the Texas Roadhouse birthday experience is loud and engages the entire restaurant. If you are on the receiving end of it, you become the center of attention for the entire restaurant, something many commenters pointed out as mortifying in the comments. 

Get on that saddle

According to The Daily Meal, the ritual can vary by location, but it often involves a server announcing the guest’s birthday to the entire room. Diners are typically asked to stop eating and yell “yeehaw” on the count of three, with the birthday guest joining in as well. At some locations, a saddle is brought to the table for the guest to sit on. The birthday customer is then encouraged to whip a napkin over their head like a cowboy. 

Additionally, not every branch does the birthday song. After all, it wasn’t legally allowed till the song moved into the public domain in 2016. Instead, some Texas Roadhouse branches will opt to have their Roadies do a line dance. The birthday guest also usually receives a scoop of ice cream, though some may get a free slice of cake. Of course, sometimes, some restaurants are against birthday celebrations if they come with outside cake.

The reaction to the video was overwhelmingly on the side of the server. One user noted, “as a roadhouse server it’s a waste of our time to bring it over & the person not want it done & then sitting there trying to convince them for them to still not get on the saddle. & to have a group of other servers stop what their doing to come. i’ll always ask right before i do it so i don’t run into that situation. hope that helps(:” 

Another server echoed this sentiment. They wrote “As a txrh waitress of 3 years sometimes we bring everything over and they don’t wanna do it and then we just took a lot of time away from our other tables to scoop icecream and drag the saddle and gather other people and then put everything back, so sometimes it backfires and then we’re behind on our other tables without even getting to do the birthday.”

For many, the server’s push for consent is also about respecting personal boundaries and social anxiety. As an article on Medium explains, the “spotlight effect” can be incredibly draining for those with social anxiety. For these individuals, being the center of forced attention isn’t fun. It’s a performance they didn’t ask to be part of. 

One commenter shared their own experience, saying, “It’s honestly embarrassing. I didn’t know I could refuse. I cried after bc I hate that level of public perception.” Another added, “I actually have so much respect for that worker! As someone with anxiety it was the worst part of my birthdays and to spring it on someone without checking how they feel first is just wrong.”

To support this, some users boosted the concept of consent as a whole. One user stated, “it’s their birthday so it’s their decision,” and another added, “yessss, normalize consent across all the platforms.” Not everyone agreed, of course, with a TikToker commenting, “fun police in the comments omg.” That being said, sometimes fun can backfire heavily too, as one Arkansas family experienced at a circus birthday celebration.

At the end of it all, most of the discourse boiled down to one thing. What a person was comfortable with. As one commenter put it, “Just because it’s fun for you doesn’t mean it’s going to be fun for that person. Some people do not like all that attention at all. It’s their birthday so yes, I ask permission from the birthday person, not the other people at the table.”